Suicidal

Discussion in 'Support' started by jeremy06, Oct 14, 2018.

    1. Steph1710
      Old hag

      Steph1710 Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/04/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Antibiotics - I think
      What the actual fucking fuck! Damn this shit makes me mad!
       
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    2. Lurius
      Wishful

      Lurius Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Oslo, Norway
      Tinnitus Since:
      September 2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Valsalva maneuver
      Don't confuse the need for intimacy and affection for a sex addiction, man. Unless it's a sex addiction, of course.
       
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    3. AbeS

      AbeS Member

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise/headphones
      Yeah I was pretty mad at the time too.

      She actually was of great help to me before tinnitus with handling anxiety and other things, but totally clueless about tinnitus and hyperacusis.

      I got the feeling that she thought of it like ”the next thing he's obsessing over”.
       
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    4. PeteJ
      Aggressive

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      No, that guy is inaccurate as usual. It's a physical condition that contributes to mental symptoms. The only analogy I can think of is CTE.

      But, tinnitus has a unique physical affect of both hearing/inner ear damage and an affect on the brain resulting in tinnitus symptoms which consequently contribute to mental anguish.
       
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    5. PeteJ
      Aggressive

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      So that doctor was totally useless.

      If you can treat anxiety, then great - you don't need a doctor for that. There's lots of self-help resources online. But, the majority of doctors are absolutely heartless and clueless like I said before. They have no clue or insight on suffering tinnitus. Tinnitus is a condition only the sufferer has subjective affect. In other words, a doctor can't measure anything - only you hear/feel it.

      I am not talking about researchers and so-called experts most people will never have contact with. Family doctors, ENTs and psychiatrists are mostly clueless, heartless and of no help whatsoever but they often increase your anxiety and frustrate you with their insensitive reactions.
       
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    6. Walter Bishop

      Walter Bishop Member

      Location:
      İstanbul
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Panic
      I wish I had a chance to change the tone of the tinnitus. I'm 27 years old. People around me are telling me to get a job. I don't know how to work with this sound. Please let a cure come out this year.
       
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    7. Wrfortiscue
      Probing

      Wrfortiscue Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      No cure but I’m optimistic about treatments allowing people to get on with their lives.
       
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    8. Gateway
      Frustrated

      Gateway Member Podcast Patron Benefactor

      Location:
      Atlanta, Georgia
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      SSHL (sudden sensorineural hearing loss)
      I’ve gotten a tinnitus spike after having jaw surgery to fix my underbite. My surgery was 22 days ago, it didn’t start bothering me until about a week or so after.

      I feel so stupid. I should have not risked it, because I had finally gotten to a place in my life where my previous tinnitus was manageable and I was actually feeling like a normal 20 year old for once. I don’t know, I got too comfortable. I was gonna start college back this semester, but I just can’t do it right now.

      My mom doesn’t understand how hard this is for me, and it’s hard to find people to relate to this pain. I’m barely holding on right now, and my thoughts are getting dark. I’m praying after I heal more it will go back to pre surgery level. Maybe someone with a Christian perspective could give me some advice.

      Is there any medicines I can take to help? With sleep? With anxiety? I don’t wanna go down the benzo hole, but it’s the only thing that takes the edge off.
       
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    9. PeteJ
      Aggressive

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      What treatments? I would so welcome one that reduces tinnitus volume e.g. changes one's tinnitus from severe to mild - but, I can't foresee or imagine anything like that. Seems remote and practically a fantasy for tinnitus sufferers.

      I don't follow the research and treatment sections anymore so I concede I am not in the loop in whatever is developing.

      I think if a revolutionary new treatment was on the horizon, it would leak to other forum sections and more people would become optimistic. I don't see that here.
       
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    10. PeteJ
      Aggressive

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      Imho, that surgery doesn't sound like it causes any permanent damage wrt to your ears. I dare predict it can be a temporary spike. I hate visiting the dentist as any treatments result in a spike and there's absolutely nothing I can do. I do take Magnesium bisglycinate but that doesn't prevent the inevitable tinnitus spike.

      Try to keep track of how long the spike lasts. I suppose the jaw is close to the ears that surgery contributed to a spike but jaw surgery doesn't typically affect hearing or injure the ear? There's a chance your spike should alleviate in time but tinnitus is an unpredictable animal, too. I don't like making promises.
       
    11. Wrfortiscue
      Probing

      Wrfortiscue Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      Maybe some folks can chime in. I browse the research news section every now and then and I do see some optimistic people. Heck even a 20% decrease in loudness/tones/hyperacusis is huge.
       
    12. Exit

      Exit Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      I’m done with the research news too, but for anyone with more than 10 years to go, this summer we’ll find out if OTO-313 and OTO-413 got some punch. If however they drag it out until November...
       
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    13. Wrfortiscue
      Probing

      Wrfortiscue Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      Yea I understand lol. False hope is still... hope haha. I’m still optimistic about it.
       
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    14. guenguer

      guenguer Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2004
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Sudden hearing loss 2004/12/14
      I don't. I can't. It's the sum of it all. ‍♂️

      If it would just be the, severe and surely hell of tinnitus, I could live with it.

      Luckily VAD is now legal here in Germany too. Even more liberal than Swiss because you don't have to be sick/disabled. If there's anything physically wrong with your body, you can do it.

      It's way cheaper, even basically free if you can prove that you are poor. Done at your own home, not in a foreign country in some random apartment. It's just for people living in Germany though (as far as I know).

      Knowing this calms me a lot.

      We'll see, I'll give myself around 3-5 years, maybe.
       
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    15. Kriszti

      Kriszti Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016/2017/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Do you have to be a citizen too, or just living there is enough to qualify?
       
      • Good Question Good Question x 2
    16. AbeS

      AbeS Member

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise/headphones
      I think you are right, and I can especially relate to that speaking to someone about this condition who don't understand it, and don't even want to understand, just makes you feel worse.

      What a doctor don't know, doesn't exist. That's my experience.
       
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    17. tpj
      Depressed

      tpj Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2008
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      probably noise
      I envy you so much that you have this in your country. We have VAD in Australia but you have to practically be on your death bed to get it. What I would give for enlightened policitians in this country. That calm you mention knowing it's available, that's what I desperately want.
       
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    18. TheDanishGirl
      Sad

      TheDanishGirl Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Denmark
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2017 (H since 06/2017)
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      long term noise exposure (headphones), maybe some stress.
      Interesting. Who provides VAD? Do they have a website? I'm intrigued.
       
    19. xyz
      Alienated

      xyz Member

      Location:
      Germany
      Tinnitus Since:
      2006 mild T 2019 T worsening H onset
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown / probably noise induced
      Really surprising, I thought this was not allowed. But our highest court has ruled in 2020 "Everyone can decide for themselves when, for what reason and how to end life."
      This was the topmost Google result. But it's all in German. Maybe you can contact them and ask if you can become a member also when you are living in Denmark.
       
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    20. guenguer

      guenguer Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2004
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Sudden hearing loss 2004/12/14
      For now it's been private organizations, because the government didn't set up infrastructure for it. But it's been done by real doctors, also some states changed the medical professional code, so doctors don't have to worry.

      www.dghs.de for example.
       
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    21. Snake
      Heartbroken

      Snake Member

      Location:
      Poland
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      2011 - Gaming on headphones. 2020 - Severe by breaking glass
      Almost 1.5 years after worsening by 2 acoustic traumas in 2020, no improvement whatsoever. Tinnitus is screaming and I feel that I'm at the end of the road :(

      I have had tinnitus since 2011, I know how I should deal with it but it doesn't work. It's too loud, I can't, it's everywhere, it's higher pitched, I feel like my brain cells are dying from this shit.

      The worst thing is that I could avoid both of them, during the first I should stop the dental procedure when I felt it's too much and during the second one... I could just not get drunk with anyone and the glass incident would be avoided. With tinnitus you need to be sober all the time and monitor the environment (and fking think what will happen in the next couple of seconds, think what you and others do. It's exhausting but you can't get your guard down, additionally when drunk you're unpredictable as well as other people that drink with you.) I could be like i was with my previous tinnitus now (which was bad too but I could distract myself) if not for this.

      The guilt is through the roof, I just felt safe with other people for the first time and adding alcohol into the mix allowed myself to put my guard down too much. Fk this disease, condition or whatever people call it. FOR A NORMAL GUY IT WOULDN'T EVEN BE CONSIDERED A MISTAKE, OUR MISTAKES AREN'T NORMAL PEOPLE MISTAKES. I fell like our every move that isn't inside our house is a mistake ffs.

      Also I get very strong urge to do something, to fight for my life, that it can't end like this, that at the age of 23/24 I should study or work or something, that I'm loosing my life. And a second after, it gets to me that I already died the day it happened. That I already lost my life. That it's too loud already to do anything. It's vicious cycle that I want to end. Why, why, why this curse doesnt have any treatment that works. How it's possible to suffer like that by your own brain. It's not a virus that's trying to kill you, it's your stupid brain.

      I don't know what to do, I feel that I will end like others that lost this battle. Maybe I already lost.
       
      • Hug Hug x 16
    22. Exit

      Exit Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Thank you for this well written post.

      You summarise very well how many feel, and they who not, should do everything to avoid becoming one.

      I’m very sorry for your loss @Snake.
       
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