Suicidal

Thanks, I've managed to pull it around somewhat since this morning. More hopeful now after watching some success stories on YouTube. Was a bit overwhelmed but I know every time I get through something like today it makes me stronger.

 

That's my thought process every day. How loud is your tinnitus? How would you describe it?

 

Mine is loud all the time. Try to avoid really loud noises especially high pitched ones.

My tinnitus somewhat resembles cicadas noises but higher pitched than that.

You could say it's like having cicadas noises being played in your ears 24/7. My tinnitus used to fluctuate and the volume would reduce substantially sometimes but not anymore. People tell me it's only been 6 months. Yeah, only.

 

I was thinking of getting a new shower head with cord etc that has multiple settings. It would give me options to lower the volume right?

 

I got a jolt resembling an electric shock to my left arm and an area in my head or brain. Anyone know what that is? It happened yesterday while I was sitting on the couch. I was very tired and had insufficient sleep (the previous night).

I thought lack of sleep might have something to with it but I have never experienced that before until then.

I am so fucked up.

 

I might just wait until I get my money in 10 days. Then buy what I call my suicide supplies. I need to find a good tree or spot. I don't want to live anymore. I am done.

The only thing that worries me is finding someone to look after my dog. My brother is not a dog person and I don't know who else will treat her right.

 

Could be a symp

Did you experience panic while you had the jolt? Could be brain zaps. They are symptoms that may come from prolonged stress, anxiety and some medications

 

It was sudden and surprising but it kinda scared me.

I don't recall panic per se. Just a feeling of what the hell and what was that and why?!?

 

They should rename success stories to moderate and mild tinnitus that has improved.

 

https://www.healthline.com/health/brain-shakes
Here you find a description. Have you discontinued antidepressants recently?

 

Spinnaker how are you doing now?

 

How do you know your tinnitus that sound like cicadas is louder than others that do much better than you?
Mine sounds like cicadas too. Mine can be pretty dam loud as well.

You have never lived in the middle of the congo like I have up in a tree house. All you hear are cicada's and monkey noises. Even without tinnitus. They get used to it. Why can't you?

I asked you in the other thread if you have a history of mental illness. Addressing that may help you cope with what many accept on some level.

 

If anyone has made progress and moved forward in their lives, that's a success story. No matter what level or intensity of tinnitus they have.....

 

Point well taken, but regardless of a history of mental illness this screaming in the head will drive anybody mad. Everybody here is in your side PeteJ, ...get some freaking Benzos and knock your ass out. Tell them about Dr. Shulman studies and many other studies regarding the efficacy of Benzos when in a pinch. They will calm your nervous system down. Get it, by any means necessary, have an aunt or uncle or anybody sympathetic help. We are all pulling for you man...

 

When I had my initial trauma, I could feel the inside of my ear fluttering and then what felt like a needle or spike being driven into my brain. Painful as fuck, I shit you not, God’s truth. No doctors here, no nothing. Rest is history. Intrusive loud tinnitus 24/7 but I am doing better now and am happy to be alive and don’t wish death. I’ve changed, it’s taken nearly two years, but anything is possible. I am sure a bundle of nerves going into my brain are fried, but fuck it, I am having better days and hope you will too.

 

I stopped taking amitriptyline.

 

Most are still mild or moderate.

 

If you try to make it into a mental illness issue, I will block you.

 

Not true young man, mine is severe as fuck... and I am making steps forward. Not to say everybody can. If you looked at my audiogram you’d shit yourself, honestly you are not alone. I have profound hearing loss and severe tinnitus. Welcome to my world

 

Few people are here for me. They keep accusing me of the same things and it's frustrating. There's no science book of tinnitus.

I am tired of people bringing up mental illness. It's a physical condition. Hearing a loud noise caused by ear/brain malfunctions is not normal. It's not a mental illness. Nothing can be done and that is the problem. Doctors don't care. What other serious medical condition do doctors ultimately tell you, "get used to it." They might as well tell you, "Tough shit. Get the fuck out of my office. "

It's too loud. I don't know what yours is like or anyone else's. If you are used to it, great. I know various people have killed themselves over it. I know for a fact, none had mild tinnitus. It's only really a problem when it's loud. Incidentally, for many, multiple tones are worse than single and high pitched tones are also intrusive and distressing.

I requested benzos and my GP said no.

 

Do you know what is ironic? There is a 0.00000001% chance to get disability but you have to demonstrate a "mental illness angle" since no one in the health field gives a fuck about tinnitus even if it is severe. There is no support. NO ONE CARES.

A few people have asked me that question (what do you want?; why are you here?). That is my answer, okay? Can you allow me that? It's because NO ONE IN THE REAL WORLD CARES AND THERE IS NO SUPPORT.

Anyway, it's the slimmest of chances to get disability as you need support of a psychiatrist, GP and require various psychiatric prescriptions. I know this from those who received disability but don't have tinnitus. They had to run through hoops and waited at least a year through the process.

I just want my life over. I don't want to endure this tinnitus noise anymore.

 

If you want it over, you know how to achieve that. Your dog is an excuse, there are shelters who can find caring owner for your dog.

You have been threatening suicide here for better part of a year now, and are still breathing. That tells me you want to fight and try to beat this thing.

 

Find a new GP. Go private. Believe me Pete, I wanted out of this life for the first year, you are not alone. Mine is loud and sucks. I am reaching out to you and have been for months. You are definitely one of the most important people on this forum and you need a compassionate doctor. I am sorry you can’t get help, keep fighting mate... give it two or three years till you call it quits.

 

That, and prolonged stress, could explain brain zaps.

 

It is a physical condition, absolutely, but it induces a huge amount of prolonged stress and that in turn becomes a mental problem. We all agree that taking care of the physical condition would be best, but no reliable treatment is available yet except perhaps neuromod, so for the time being addressing the induced mental component is the best you can do. Re: benzos, your gp said no, but you can fight this.
The next decade could see progress, Audion, fx322, oto413, there is hope. Michigan and Minnesota are coming to the rescue much earlier.

 

Absolutely. The success stories part has also cases with severe tinnitus who keep going and are happy to do so. There are cases with severe tinnitus who keep going

 

We are all here for you! If no one cared, they would not reply to your posts. You need to go and talk to someone. It's simply talking things out, meds are not always needed. Only YOU can help YOU, these people on this forum have given their best to help you out.

 

Be very proud of yourself! I know how hard your journey is, I really do! Just keep moving forward....

 

@PeteJ consider also the possibility that one could have a vicious cycle going. In some cases tinnitus starts as physical, one is stressed by it, stress makes it louder or it keeps it from fading, louder tinnitus generates more stress, and so on. I'm not saying it's your case but it's a possibility. In cases like this, mental health help can help stopping the cycle. If you don't like "mental problem" then let's say "prolonged stress problem", there is no denying that. Granted, there are severe cases that have nothing to do with stress but you strike me as a (very understandably) extremely stressed individual

 

@PeteJ Don't know about your dental issues, but from clenching or grinding, your top jaw with having ear pain needs a splint. Much better than a guard mouth when there's ear pain. Why: Because there's mandibular tension. Wear splint night and most of day. Warm compresses to side of jaw. Physical therapy - one session to learn temple and mandible massage or watch a video. Order some anti inflammatory products from the big A. Read some threads about inflammatory products.

Will this help lower your tinnitus? Most get at least a 50 to 75 percent deduction of T. Other dental work may be needed, but usually that's secondary to the problem that you seem to be having. Actually those with random ear pain get better results from treatment explained in top paragraph when there's inflammation.

Sorry that I could not word this better. I have burning mouth and tongue and it's on fire tonight.