Suicidal

I think I’m pretty done. I have no hope of improvement. In my heart I don’t believe there will be any cure, any treatment. I won’t leave because of family but I’m beyond done and only stay for their sake.

 

I'm in the same boat. I don't know how much longer I can 'exist' with this. If I can't work then I'll end up broke with no one but my mother. I can't see how I can start anything when I'm struggling every day with this, especially my sleep which is critical for being able to be able to work. It's very difficult to have any type of schedule.

 

Are you talking about full spectrum CBD oils or CBD isolate as well? Scary stuff.

 

I was told about this here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opipramol.

According to at least the German and Swiss leaflets, tinnitus is not a side effect

It helped me with sleep and anxiety and thus with tinnitus.

I hope this helps.

 

Thank you. I googled it, and I can't seem to find it is my country's medicine register, so I'm afraid it's not available here. But I'll ask my doctor about it.

I looked at the side effects though, and I can see, like many other antidepressants, it has tremors as a side effect. I'm dealing with tremors from Mirtazapine. Luckily it's better some days than others, but generally it's an absolutely awful thing to deal with and for me it's kind of an unacceptable side effect and I would expect I'm more in danger of being hit by this side effect if I have it already from another drug.

Right now I'm just stuck. I'm not ready to take another drug. I'm so badly afraid of them all, now that I've felt how severe damage Mirtazapine has caused me. I think my only option is a very fast taper or cold turkey, where I just ride out the hell it's going to be at my mother's place, where she can watch over me until I'm not a danger to myself. For some people it's the right thing to do, going cold turkey or very fast. I just wish I could get a guarantee that I'll be all right from it, but sadly it doesn't work like that, and therefore I can't bring myself to it, but I think it's inevitable. I'll have to get off the Mirtazapine at some point or I'm dead.

 

Any CBD or THC product is suspect to me; the commercial cannabis industry is awful and cares about its users about as much as the tobacco and oil industries do.

There's exceptions but you have to do homework and learn what to look for on lab tests and also trust that the lab tests you are seeing are real.

Much easier to just grow my own and turn it into shatter with ethanol.

 

I don't think there will be a "cure" for a while, but why not wait ~2 months for the conference in Florida to announce new info on the Michigan Tinnitus Device, before you put yourself in that mindset?

 

Of course you are right, but the emotional response isn't dictated by the logical mind. Plus I'm pretty bummed that nothing has any meaningful impact at all, hearing aids, sound therapy, masking (ha!), Lenire, benzodiazepines, antidepressants, meditation, acupuncture, supplements, mindfulness, talk therapy, crazy hippy ass treatments. Nothing has made a meaningful difference and 95% have made no difference at all.

Yeah maybe the Michigan Tinnitus Device will be the first thing created in the history of medicine to impact my tinnitus but on an emotional level it is hard to feel that it will.

 

I think deep brain stimulation surgery might help you. There’s research going on by a Dr. Cheung and he is mapping the brain’s activity to see which areas are affected by tinnitus. One person in his first clinical trial had a 75% reduction in their tinnitus after DBS surgery. Turns out, the area that the electrodes were placed in for this individual is where the imaging showed the tinnitus as active. And the reduction happened with the continuous stimulation. So it’s possible that DBS surgery could help people like you and I. When we’re this debilitated by tinnitus, cutting the head open does not seem extreme at all. People in our shoes would share that same belief.

I also am hopeful for XEN1101 and we’ll see about Shore.

 

The problem is you can’t just go someplace and get DBS for tinnitus. Also that insurance wouldn’t cover it. I’m guessing it costs some real money for people to put stuff in your brain.

That being said I would certainly consider a DBS treatment if it offered a real chance at a real reduction.

Thank you for your positivity.

 

Would this kinda surgery improve it permanently or is it like multiple visit kinda thing?

 

There are some clinical trials going on that you could participate in. They’re free.

Should be permanent with the electrical stimulation on 24/7. They just have to replace the battery once every 5 years. The battery is in the chest area.

 

I think they implant some wires deep in your brain and then have a power pack connected to it elsewhere in your body/outside? I think you keep them on zapping yourself continuously or maybe occasionally.

 

If you are talking about the same ones I looked into, in the Netherlands, you have to be a resident.

I don't think there are any DBS trials in the United States that are currently enrolling.

But I agree, cut open my head, I don't care.

 

The hope is that Dr. Cheung in San Francisco will do another clinical trial, a Phase 2. He did a Phase 1 with good results. One participant had a 75% reduction in their tinnitus. Since then, he has been fine-tuning the approach of how DBS should be done by furthering his research into the areas of the brain that are affected by tinnitus. With imaging, they can tell which areas are affected. He has stated that it’s possible that the areas affected might differ from person to person, and that those results would determine where the electrodes are placed.

Someone did have the procedure done in the Netherlands and said it gave them their life back. If someone is ready to off themselves and they’ve lived in different parts of the world, and are comfortable with that, they could consider moving there. Sounds like a long-shot, but maybe not.

There are 2 other upcoming DBS trials, one in France and the other is in another country (can’t recall). But you probably have to be a resident of either to participate.

 

Most of us would take 75% reduction.

 

It would be unreasonably speculative to go and live in a country - get residence - just on a % possibility a treatment will work.

 

Depends how much you are suffering.

 

If a person gets really severe and doesn’t have any treatment options to turn to, and feels they’re confidently ready to off themselves, I think it would certainly be better to try a Hail Mary approach first, even if it’s a long-shot. Dreams don’t happen without dreaming first.

 

Folks are afraid of a dental drill. Can you imagine the bone conduction of a skull drill?

 

I’ve thought of that, too, plus the risk of an MRI (should look for a quiet one), anesthesia and whatever else they’d wanna use, possibly antibiotics. That stuff worries me, too. But there’s a couple things to think about. One, none of the people that have had this surgery have gotten worse as a result. In Cheung’s trial, 4 of the 5 improved. The 5th didn’t improve or worsen. The person in the Netherlands improved. So all of the cases I’m aware of were okay. Two, if the bone conduction did somehow worsen you, would the worsening be reversed once the stimulation is activated? And again, it boils down to the sufferer’s desperation or state-of-mind. If they’re going to off themselves, what do they have to lose in taking such a risk? It has been documented that DBS gave people their lives back. Nothing is without risk, even a pharmaceutical treatment. The only risk-free option is to do nothing, which isn’t an option for the sufferer who’s at the end of their rope.

 

As far as I recall, I read on a German forum for people who struggle with withdrawal or side effects, that Vitamin C and Vitamin E can help. There is also Alpha-Lipoic Acid which might help. These are all antioxidants.

I also have two side effects that often occur for me if they are listed, but the intensity of them on Opipramol was less than on another "classic" psychopharmaceutical drug (benzo). Though it might be due to lesser dosage as well. If it has a different method of action, it might mean different side effects, which I think is also a point worth of consideration.

I wish you all the best!

 

I wouldn't say that benzos are dangerous. I would say that they can be dangerous if used improperly. I have used them on and off for 30+ years and have never had any issues. I've also found that lately they are not used that often and most doctors will no longer prescribe them, even psychiatrists.

As for them causing tinnitus, so far Clonazepam has been the only thing that has helped me. Problem is of course that it's not something you should take daily for long term otherwise that's when it can become dangerous. So, I get maybe one or two days a week of relief.

 

How are you now dan?! I wish I could say I was better.

 

Hanging in there my friend.

I find the MOST important thing with severe tinnitus is being able to sleep through the night. Once you can do that, you're golden.

 

Curcumin? LDN?

 

Tried Curcumin, but not yet LDN.

 

We don't have to agree, but, my viewpoint on this is: they were overprescribed for a long time and then Purdue cooked the golden goose with their illegal opiate marketing which caused a huge crackdown on all controlled prescriptions and now benzos may be underprescribed.

The thing about the use pattern you describe is, with Clonazepam specifically, the half life of the drug is long enough that taking it weekly still leads to having a constant dose in your body, and this has been confirmed by clinical studies which have found Clonazepam metabolites in urine as much as thirty days after a single dose.

Upshot there is that someone who takes 2 mg a day, like me, probably has more like 5 mg in their body at any given time, and someone who takes 1 mg on a Saturday and a Sunday, will still have about 0.2mg floating around in their system 5 days later, which is more or less the same as 3-5 mg of Diazepam, which is very much a dose that creates dependence and would need to be tapered off if consumed for long enough.

I am not trying to scare you, as much as, using 1 mg of Clonazepam twice a week is somewhat similar to just taking 0.25 mg every day. If it's more effective for you to use it that way, by all means, I am very much in favor of all of us making whatever reasonable decisions we need to, to have the best life we can with these conditions.

There's also a tremendous and possibly genetically influenced variance in how people respond to these drugs and to withdrawal; some people are able to withdraw from fairly high doses quickly without much fuss, and other people withdraw slowly from lower doses and suffer extremely. There's no way to know what's going to happen until you stop taking it long enough for all of it to have cleared your blood stream, and for long enough that your body's homeostatic response has resolved (6-24 months post withdrawal, for people who have a rough go of it).

Because benzo withdrawal has been absolute, insane hell for me personally both times I have gone through it over a long, slow taper, I come down hard on the "benzos are super dangerous, last resort kinda thing" side of the argument.

If you talk to one of the people who took a Xanax a day for 3 years, stopped suddenly, had some sweats and insomnia for a week and then they were just fine, they might give you a totally different story and think my story is insane. Neither of us would be wrong or insane, we just had such different experiences with the same basic process that all we could do is compare notes and say "huh, bodies are weird!"

 

Glad to hear. ❤️

I am at the end of my rope. I wish I had any level that was sustainable but the ringing is so bad in my head now that I can't see a way forward. I'm worsening everyday since April 26th. Every little sound cuts through my ears like butter. Pure torture. I can't believe I am here.

I can't sleep anymore for sure after today. Had a hard time last night and today I've worsened even more from cars driving nearby my house. No one believed me that I needed quiet and that regular sounds were increasing my tinnitus. I begged for help to find a quiet spot to no avail. I have worsened so bad I couldn't even get to one now if I found one. I am at a loss for words. People blame the mental.side way too much with these afflictions and push sound therapy and that regular sounds can't hurt. I've been killed off by audiologist and otolaryngologist with their bad protocols and advice. Gaslighted by them and my parents. No one believed me that I needed a quiet spot from the start in January. I should have told everyone to f off that pushed me to keep going. I should have gone hide in the woods and I would be ok. I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on. My brain is screaming.

 

OK, so my naturopathic doctor and my urologist both believe my unrelenting symptoms are either an embedded UTI &/or biofilm related.

My issue is, even doing natural supplements, my tinnitus & hyperacusis are so so bad, I had to finally quit them today. This is after dutifully treating this flare up naturally for over 5 weeks now. I’m devastated. I can’t sleep because of the frequency & urgency I have to urinate and the burning pain in my bladder.

Can you PLEASE tell me what you did @DebInAustralia to successfully treat your biofilm UTI? I thank you kindly.

I have many tormentors. Becuse I suffer with intense, permanent reactions to medications and supplements, namely increased tinnitus & hyperacusis & noxacusis, I can’t address any of my other tormentors, like interstitial cystitis. I am wondering if you have found any relief and if like me, you suffer unrelenting increases in tinnitus & hyperacusis from both allopathic and naturalpathic approaches to treating your symptoms of interstitial cystitis @Bill Bauer?