Suicidal

Please, don't do anything rushed. If I saw it correctly, you have had the ringing for a week - two weeks? I don't want to lie, don't want to sound condescending, I know that the first days, weeks are a living hell with the fight or flight response, anxiety running high and the horrible ringing. But give yourself a chance, you are still in the very acute phase, I'm not saying that it will definitely go away, but you have a chance of it going away.

First and foremost, you need to find a way to get your sleep under control. I'm still struggling in that department, but there are natural remedies, masking, sleeping aids, ADs to help you sleep, they may work for you.

Give yourself more time.

(I doubt that VAD is available for acute tinnitus at 21.)

 

I have been unable to sleep the past few days, I wake up with heart racing and severe anxiety. I sleep near someone because I'm scared. Yesterday I slept much longer by putting on this RESound app, music of nature. I pray my tinnitus goes away. I can't eat properly or do anything I used to. I'm so scared it will be there forever and how could I live with that. People who do are so brave.

Yes, I've had it for one week now.

 

I know how horrible this is in the early days and I'm really sorry that you are struggling this bad.

For you it even could go away or reduce to a tolerable level. I have a friend who had terrible whistling in her ear for 2.5 months and hers completely went away. There is a thread somewhere here about spontaneous recovery. You even have a chance that some underlying medical condition causes this and it can be treated.

Don't throw away your life after one week.

 

@PeteJ, I'm not really suggesting anything. Not trying to argue, apologies if it came off as such. I was just clarifying a previous thing I said.

I do have to wonder though, when running through all the doctors and all that, have you come across any that try to push TRT? That's another worry I have; if tinnitus is mentioned at all, even if you play up the mental aspects, the off chance they *do* take it seriously, are you looking at $5000 towards that and 18+ months of "treatment" attempts. I guess one can be thankful in a way that not many offer it...

 

As if you'd accompanied me to my doctors' visits - funny but also oh so very, very sad!

 

I'm sorry to hear about your tinnitus and how hard it is for you to adjust to it right now. It is a good thing that you have somebody offering love and support during these trying times. Please don't give up, I know it feels like the end of the world when suddenly there is a noise in your head 24-7 when all you want is a minute of silence, but what others have said before is true: it will get better. If you are near a forest or park try going for walks; keeping busy and in motion helps we with my tinnitus noises, so hopefully it will let you find a bit of relief this way, too.

 

Thanks for your support

 

It is much more tolerable in comparison to what I’ve read here. I can’t hear it accept when I sleep. I used ReSound music app and it blocked it out completely. It has reduced today. Except I can still hear it faintly. Thank you for giving me some more strength and hope. I think less anxiety and stress has helped. I also am getting a hearing test done today to see if that is the cause or not.

 

So tired of this guys. The H pain eating away at me, I feel like I’m living in another world. The isolation is so depressing too

 

I ask about this as well and the CT scan is not nearly as detailed and useful as the MRI for soft tissue. If you have bone or joint issues the CT is okay. For blood vessels, nerves, etc you need an MRI. I just had one done here in Detroit and I was nervous as hell. Fortunately it went alright.

 

The point is I don’t even need brain imaging. Even if I have the CT I’m 99% sure it will come up clear and the neurologist will always insist on the MRI for more detailed imaging. They are clueless so they will use whatever excuse they can as a crutch.

I know exactly what would happen. I’d have a brain MRI for no reason besides ruling stuff out. It will come up clear, neurologist says she can’t help and to continue with my meds (which I’m already taking) so it will just be a pointless worsening. I’ve had a CT done of my sinuses already.

 

Well folks, this is it. Every single night the tinnitus screams out of control. It's fine during the day. But it's like the second the sun goes down it ramps up to unbearable levels. I just took 300 mg of Gabapentin, 1 mg of Xanax, 10 mg of Nortryptiline and I cannot calm down. I can't do this every fucking night. I cannot live like this.

 

Shelbynn, although it still mega sucks, mine did on average get quieter in months 3-6, and in the first few months I was literally on the verge of spontaneous death with the most out of control volume you can imagine - I think we all owe ourselves 12-24 months even if it is hell.

I'd say maybe 50% of days now I am suffering 24/7 vs 100% at the beginning (which is why my posts seem so erratic in terms of tone).

 

It's such a gamble. But you're right I guess. Either way if it doesn't get better by the 12 month mark I still always have the option to end it. I just can't deal with this routine of it screaming so loudly my teeth hurt every night. It's only at night. During the day it's like it's not even there. And I keep everything quiet. I barely mask it because I want to get used to it but there's nothing to mask. I only hear it in the silence of my bathroom. But at night time it ramps up so loudly nothing masks it at all. I don't know why it does that.

 

Depending on when you take your meds, could be calming it down during the active period and then ramping it up as it leaves your system. Intermediate benzos have effects for about 11 to 20 hours.

 

Yeah I only take my Xanax at night. So it would make sense that things are ramping up by the next night. I don't know how I'm going to get out of that trap now.

My mom is threatening to commit me. Looks like I'm not reaching out and telling her or my family how I'm feeling anymore

 

Went down this road. Put an unfortunate spin on who they care about more, their comfort level or their grown up child being reduced back to a child.

 

Sorry you're struggling. For your sake, stay out of the psychiatric ward. It's dead quiet in there and I was stuck in there for weeks. I felt just as bad when I got out.

Just be thankful yours is tolerable during the day. Mine is catastrophic 24/7. I never get a break. Ever.

 

Yeah that horrible "twilight zone" feeling is really depressing. I don't have hyperacusis pain but I have very debilitating reactive tinnitus. I still feel like I live in another world one year later. I have been drinking tonight too so I feel about more honest or "bolder " than I normally would. I'm not an alcoholic really but the alcohol makes me escape the reactive tinnitus and distortions for awhile because I'm not as aware of it when I'm tipsy or drunk.

I have been wanting to call my neurologist to ask for Keppra but I have to find the phone number on the paperwork or whatever.

 

Why did god have to curse me into being an OCD audiophile and a musician. God fucking dammit.

 

I can't deal with this. I am in distress. 2 months in and I see no way out. Only my kids are keeping me going but surely when they grow up if they knew what I was going through they would understand?

 

You need to get into a ENT. Depending on your cause, getting steroids on board early can make a huge difference.

 

Don't think too much about the future. Just survive day by day for now. You can do it. Soon you will start realizing that the way you feel now is temporary. Tinnitus will lose its power to alter your mood, even if the sounds do not change. Hard to believe for you at this point, but it will happen, of that I am sure.

 

Not having a good day. Thank god I have a gun by me at all times to exit the world if the pain just suddenly ramps up to new insane levels again. I have very bad noxacusis now despite my diligence.

 

I am sorry to read about that you have noxacusis now. I 've developed noxacusis for more than a week already. I think noxacusis is the epitome of suffering among all these ear problems we are talking about here on the this forum. I wish I had a gun too. Sigh...

 

Some of my friends are open to me euthanizing myself so honestly that's the route I'll go.

 

I have to die. I have way too many medical issues and autoimmune problems to have an enjoyable life.

 

Suicide by gun has a 50% failure rate, and the consequences of failure are disastrous, so you might think about it again.

 

Well tbh I have made my decision too, but I will have to do it on my own as it seems that nobody from my closed ones would support me in this regard.

 

Immense suffering. Why is there no help. I am in hell.