Suicidal

Discussion in 'Support' started by jeremy06, Oct 14, 2018.

    1. grate_biff
      Depressed

      grate_biff Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Moss, Norway
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic trauma and/or benzo withdrawal
      Thank you for writing this :thankyousign:
       
      • Like Like x 1
      • Agree Agree x 1
      • Creative Creative x 1
    2. Luman
      Spaced

      Luman Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Brooklyn
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Intermittent Tinnitus probably noise induced
      Yes, I am 100% recovered. The depression, bad thoughts, physical symptoms, guilt, irrational fears, inability to get restful sleep, etc. are all gone. Klonopin is very powerful, has very bad withdrawal symptoms for some, and is the one that I took a few times a week for four months in 2017. You'll be fine, virtually everybody recovers from post-benzo withdrawal syndrome, even very long-term heavy users of Klonopin.
       
      • Like Like x 2
    3. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      Thanks for letting me know. The only real withdrawal symptom I have now is the incredibly increased tinnitus. Everything else is mild. I had some muscle twitching. Other than that I’m fine.
       
      • Hug Hug x 3
      • Like Like x 2
    4. tpj
      Depressed

      tpj Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2008
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      probably noise
      Some people yes, others no. Some conditions, like severe tinnitus, are so overwhelming it's hard to know how other things may truly be affecting you.
       
    5. Exit

      Exit Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Just been inside watching TV or bad Netflix all day.

      Anyone else done nothing...?

      Tonight there’s salsa social dancing 5 minutes walk from me.

      Last 7 years before tinnitus I always had a hope of going back to my crowd, except they’re probably grown up, with work, marriage and kids after 7 years.

      But I could have been an old dirty pig with the new girls down there...

      Going back there as a 40-year-old probably wouldn’t be great but the concept of being healthy, well functional and happy enough to do something like that would have been great...

      Wrote this for the Chit Chat thread but had to cut and paste it here...

      I hope it’s soothing for someone out there when seeing the suicidal thread jumping up again.

      I know I do..

      goodnight people
       
      • Hug Hug x 5
      • Like Like x 1
    6. Ollie

      Ollie Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2013
      Hi, I need some help.

      I am literally on the verge of being suicidal. I am at the stage of putting my affairs in order with regards to pensions and savings and will and researching quick and painless but certain methods of suicide.

      I just don’t think I can go on. It’s no way to live and is torture. My tinnitus is a 10. The loudest thing I hear in most but the noisiest circumstances.

      I can’t believe any one else has this at this volume. It’s screaming and feels like my head is vibrating with the noise.

      I just can’t see a future like this. I put a smile on my face but inside I am in hell. When the fear of living becomes greater than the fear of death then a pathway opens up.

      I am trouble. Noise induced hearing loss with tinnitus. Moderate. Learned to live with it and habituated. 5 years.

      Made a massive mistake and went to a ridiculously loud live music event and have lost much more hearing and the tinnitus is unbearable. 2 weeks in.

      Someone please tell me this is not permanent.
       
      • Hug Hug x 13
    7. Simon85

      Simon85 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      Nov 2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Probably noise exposure, but unknown.
      Reach out. You never know.
      @Ollie, sounds like you’re going through a hell of a spike. I’m sorry this is happening. We all make mistakes which is just part of being human. Obviously avoid loud events for now while your ears settle. 2 weeks in is still very early and it’s likely to be much lower in volume as the months progress. You owe it to yourself to hang in there for a few months and see what happens. Lean on sleeping pills if you need to - sleep deprivation makes everything harder. Reach out to loved ones, be kind to yourself and try to get the help you need. Time should bring you relief.
       
      • Friendly Friendly x 2
    8. GregCA
      Jaded

      GregCA Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Otosclerosis
      You're not alone.

      Hang in there. With an acoustic trauma only 2 weeks back, there's a chance it will settle back to what it was before.

      Good luck!
       
      • Like Like x 2
      • Friendly Friendly x 1
    9. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      Not gonna lie, death is far better than this. I attempted twice. 2nd time nearly worked. Luckily I was not permanently maimed by it. Lived to die another day. I put my will in order and my friends know I won’t be here too long. That being said, if it doesn’t go away for you, death is always there as an escape.
       
      • Hug Hug x 7
      • Like Like x 2
    10. Ed209

      Ed209 Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2015
      I'm so sorry, Ollie. I can feel your pain. Two weeks is not a long time, so please try and calm down as much as possible because stress and anxiety will only make it much much worse. Huge spikes can settle, but it can take a while (weeks/months). I know you won’t feel like it, but eat healthily, take extra vitamins and minerals, and try to keep moving. Don’t ruminate or stay in bed, and try to focus your mind on doing productive things.

      Talk to others and let them know how you are feeling.

      We all understand what you are going through on this forum, so you are not alone.
       
      • Friendly Friendly x 3
      • Agree Agree x 2
    11. twa
      Busy

      twa Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      US
      Tinnitus Since:
      2017- mild /Sept. 2020-moderate
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      meds/acoustic trauma
      All I can say is from my own experience. I've had noise induced tinnitus and hyperacusis for a year. It was very bad for at least 6 months and then I started to be able to do a lot more. I cried every single day, multiple times a day. I sat with my family at dinner and just cried. Today, has been a year and I went to the State Fair. I did ok, I made it through and we had to leave when it started to get crowded. A year ago I did not think this was possible.

      Hang in there!

      Sending much love, compassion and prayers your way!

      twa
       
      • Friendly Friendly x 2
      • Agree Agree x 1
      • Hug Hug x 1
    12. Wrfortiscue
      Provocative

      Wrfortiscue Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      I see floaters sometimes when driving and it’s really bright; what does that mean?
       
    13. Wrfortiscue
      Provocative

      Wrfortiscue Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      I’ll take a positive mindset with moderate tinnitus day over a depressed mindset with low tinnitus.

      Mine alternates everyday different hours, and the depression makes everything 1000x worse. Positive upbeat days I hear the screeching or ringing and I’m annoyed but still good, other times it can be faint or light but I’m obsessed and feel sick.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    14. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      He’s not alone but he has to deal with this shit everyday. Knowing he’s not alone is little solace. Either you learn to live with this shit or you don’t. It’s very simple. I don’t even get why there is a forum for this, knowing damn well our great grandkids will be dead and buried before a cure or decent treatment is available.
       
      • Like Like x 1
      • Hug Hug x 1
    15. Tau
      In pain

      Tau Member

      Location:
      Europe
      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      2019-Concert, 2021-headphones/acoustic trauma at 110dB,16kHz
      Probably that they're small and not an issue! :p
       
      • Like Like x 1
      • Agree Agree x 1
    16. El BUZZ
      Buzzed

      El BUZZ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music consumption plus acoustic trauma.
      Hi Brian!

      Would love to know the facts behind such a statement.

      Hug.
       
      • Like Like x 1
      • Hug Hug x 1
    17. Exit

      Exit Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Only 2 weeks in. Can get back to normal before you know it.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
      • Friendly Friendly x 1
    18. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      There’s no funding and it’s a very difficult disease to understand. If you want to delude yourself be my guest.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    19. Wrfortiscue
      Provocative

      Wrfortiscue Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      With the COVID-19 and vaccination induced tinnitus I truly believe it will speed up the process, so maybe in the next 200 years.
       
      • Funny Funny x 3
      • Like Like x 1
    20. El BUZZ
      Buzzed

      El BUZZ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music consumption plus acoustic trauma.
      I don't want to delude myself by any means even if I am going through the roughest patch of my life but I find this corner of the forum to be the most in need of some hope.
       
      • Like Like x 2
      • Hug Hug x 1
      • Friendly Friendly x 1
    21. SB1981

      SB1981 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Multifactorial
      shocked-faint.gif
       
      • Like Like x 1
      • Funny Funny x 1
      • Winner Winner x 1
    22. Jerad

      Jerad Member

      Location:
      Ohio; United States
      Tinnitus Since:
      2002
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Medication ototoxicity
      I’m in a bad place right now. I’m worried that this new spike will become permanent and, if so, how will I habituate?

      I’m 6 weeks in. It’s not a pure tone. That’s what concerns me most. If it was pure, I’d think worst comes to worst, I’ll habituate. However, it sounds like a drumbeat and car engine mixed with waving a light saber around. In and out, in and out. So it has a rhythmic, pulsating nature to it. I don’t think it’s true pulsatile tinnitus, though. It never exceeds 35 dB, which is good, and it’s intensity varies between 4/5 and 8; sometimes it’s a 2/3 when it’s calm for a few hours here and there. It started after using headphones at low levels for pink noise treatment- I have hyperacusis and didn’t realize the danger in using headphones; was advised to do it this way.

      I’m praying and trying to remain optimistic that this could calm, but it’s a scary thing. Like I said, it hasn’t exceeded 35 dB so it pretty much disappears when I leave the house, but it’s really intrusive at home where the environment is 25 - 30 dB. I can’t mask too much right now with my sensitive hearing.

      Does anyone think Prednisone could help this late, 6 weeks after spike? I also don’t wanna make it worse. Thoughts?
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    23. Exit

      Exit Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      On and off, on and off every second...

      I can’t take it anymore.

      Anything for constant tinnitus, no matter how awful... :(
       
      • Hug Hug x 5
    24. Stacken77
      Wishful

      Stacken77 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise (likely headphones & cars), Acoustic trauma did me in
      Sounds really distressing. It's a kinda oscillating sound? In silence too?

      Hugs to ya :huganimation:
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
    25. Kriszti

      Kriszti Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016/2017/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      May I ask what you hear? Is it bilateral or unilateral? Have you been examined for MEM/palatal myoclonus? They mainly cause clicking, popping, thudding, but maybe your on and off sound could be atypical MEM? I'm asking because if it's actually MEM, you could try muscle relaxants, Botox and having your middle ear muscles cut.

      Anyway, hugs, I wish you were feeling better.
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
    26. Exit

      Exit Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Thanks and you too @Kriszti.

      Oscillating a little yes, a very high pitch scream very sensitive to everything except blinking... And when it’s off it’s really annoying as well. It’s like it’s on alert, just waiting to scream. Some uneven bells and like a rusty swing for kids. Or like a door that squeak.

      @Kriszti, it is pure noise damage. 12-13 sounds divided in both ears. Actually only 12 now... It is not so reactive to running water anymore. Well it screams but that’s covered by running water.
       
      • Hug Hug x 3
    27. Wrfortiscue
      Provocative

      Wrfortiscue Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      The oscillating squeak sucks ass. Mine is so random and eventually becomes so high pitched it hurts.
       
    28. Exit

      Exit Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Mine too used to almost hurt.

      Yours is completely random some hours and then not?
       
    29. Wrfortiscue
      Provocative

      Wrfortiscue Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      Yeah this specific tone constantly changes all day everyday. High pitch squeak, that oscillates constantly sometimes to my heartbeat, turns into an electrical straight buzz that buzzes my brain, or just zaps all over the place. Sometimes I don’t hear it but that’s becoming less and less.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    30. Exit

      Exit Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Mine sometimes go to a buzz if I have massaged it with fan noise...

      It always goes back to awful.

      Except that one time it got to a constant buzz, which then lowered within days... :O

      I can’t believe it, can you...?
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
Loading...

Share This Page