Suicidal

Discussion in 'Support' started by jeremy06, Oct 14, 2018.

    1. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      My tinnitus is a 10 in severity, also.

      I didn't 'habituate.' It got progressively worse from the onset.

      There's no help. The tinnitus is especially loud seemingly in the right ear but it's the volume and number of tones that is daily torture, all the time.

      I am just repeating myself.
       
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    2. LukeYoung
      Stressed

      LukeYoung Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Toowoomba, Queensland, Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/16
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      A loud Concert - Noise Exposure
      Yes I have gained multiple chronic health issues in the last few years of my life.
      It has made me severely depressed. I already was depressed before.
       
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    3. Wrfortiscue
      Provocative

      Wrfortiscue Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      How did yours get worse? Did it just get gradually worse over time for no reason?
       
    4. Wrfortiscue
      Provocative

      Wrfortiscue Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      It got worse for now reason without noise or meds?
       
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    5. Exit

      Exit Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      A kid with a skateboard...
       
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    6. Brian Newman

      Brian Newman Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Shooting/loud noise
      Man this disease never stops. Always gets worse and does not give me any damn breaks. I only got worse noxacusis over the period of 7 months. It went from a stabbing pain that went away in minutes to pain the rest of the day so bad I’m vomiting. All it took before was nasty high pitch sound, everything else was fine, now most noise triggers it. Up until two days ago my tinnitus was moderate.

      Tolerable , barely bothered me. Now after noise that went through a door through my earmuffs started a horrible cycle of reactive tinnitus, that gets louder from even a vibration from outside the house. That’s insane. All it took to make moderate noxacusis, and stable tinnitus into severe was a plane flying over the noise, a squeaking noise from the kitchen, and me bumping my Peltors a few times.

      I never had reactive tinnitus, the noxacusis only gets worse every time I set it off, the pain will go away eventually but leaves me with less and less tolerance. Now that my tinnitus gets louder and louder from every little noise I don’t know how to even isolate. Lol. How do I even avoid planes flying over my house, if I put earmuffs on and sit in a room, the vibrations still hurt me.

      God help me. I don’t know how much longer I have left. It does not stop getting worse.
       
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    7. Wrfortiscue
      Provocative

      Wrfortiscue Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      Geeze man :eek:
       
    8. Kenilworth

      Kenilworth Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown
      Anybody who can recommend me meds to lessen suicide thoughts/ideation that won't worsen the tinnitus?

      At the moment I'm not sure what's worse. The severe tinnitus or the thought of killing myself and not doing anything about it. :(
       
      • Hug Hug x 5
    9. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      Did you ever get an audiogram? Do you have documented hearing loss? What frequencies?
       
    10. Steph1710
      Old hag

      Steph1710 Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/04/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Antibiotics - I think
      I am going through exactly the same thing. In the past two years I have developed tinnitus and numerous chronic health issues. I try and hold it together but I am at complete breaking point.

      I can sympathise with you completely. I feel completely out of my depth these days.
       
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    11. Exit

      Exit Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      No I didn’t finish the audiogram. No point...
       
    12. Wrfortiscue
      Provocative

      Wrfortiscue Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      Why didn’t you finish it?
       
    13. Brian Newman

      Brian Newman Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Shooting/loud noise
      Yeah man, fucking nightmare.
       
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    14. Matchbox
      Wishful

      Matchbox Member

      Location:
      BC Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      August 2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise Induced, Prednisone (drones), Barotrauma (distortions)
      Absolutely.
       
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    15. Exit

      Exit Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      It was my first month and the headphones were earmuffs so I heard all my tinnitus in its glory... And separating it from those beeps...
       
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    16. Marcuso22

      Marcuso22 Member

      Location:
      Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud prolonged exposure to alarm system
      I use Lyrica for the nerve damage & Xanax for the anxiety & at least in short term usage it brings down the high frequency tinnitus level. Melatonin can work as well for lowering tinnitus intensity & for sleep. There's also YouTube video's with all kinds of frequency levels you can listen to for masking tinnitus. One person who keeps putting out new sounds for tinnitus masking goes by the name dalesnale.

      As for antidepressants, that's something you would have to try & see what happens since everyone reacts differently to them. Some people on here seem to like Mirtazapine which seems to help them sleep & doesn't make their tinnitus worse.
       
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    17. Kenilworth

      Kenilworth Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown
      Thank you. I will consider those. :)
       
    18. jasonbourne

      jasonbourne Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise
      If my tinnitus dropped to mild I'd be the happiest man alive. Well maybe not happy since I'd still have PTSD because of what this shit has done to me, but the relief would be immeasurable.
       
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    19. danielthor

      danielthor Member

      Location:
      Denmark
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      My other neuro disorder is deterorating on a weekly basis. I have an appointment with a specialist, but the waiting is 4 months and with the trend of this thing I have no idea what state I will be in by that time. I’m considering assisted suicide in Switzerland, which also has a waiting of about 4-5 months. They take in severe CFS/ME-patients, which is morbidly funny since no one else does. I need a backup plan if I’m to wait these months and the specialist turns out to not be able to help. I figure by the time I get to him I will be in such bad state that I’m gonna have to take manners in my own hands and do it myself. I can’t do that. I’m just not built for it. If the specialist does turn out to be able to help, then I can always cancel my spot at the assisted suicide clinic. I hate that it’s come to this, but I have no other choice if this thing gets worse. I will be discussing this with my parents once they come home from their trip, and it’s going to be the hardest conversation I’ve ever had in my life.
       
      • Hug Hug x 13
    20. Stacken77
      Wishful

      Stacken77 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise (likely headphones & cars), Acoustic trauma did me in
      I'm so very sorry to hear that Daniel, it breaks my heart. It's so cruel that you, we, all, have to go through such unfathomable suffering. You're in my thoughts, my friend.
       
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    21. DaveFromChicago

      DaveFromChicago Member Podcast Patron Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Headcold/Flu
      To jasonbourne:

      Very perceptive regarding the permanent PTSD effect that this will inevitably have; even when occasionally it seems to be non-existent I am still with quite neurotic ferociousness listening out for it.

      I recall that that PT Boat Gunner in Apocalypse Now was so exhausted from being hyperalert about an imminent attack that he would have preferred that over the unendurable stress of waiting and then suddenly being caught by total surprise.

      My rare quiet times are ruined by the certainty that I will be blindsided by a spike.

      And what psychiatrist would be able to devise a method for alleviating this stress when this cycle has been ingrained in me for almost 8 years?

      Like the PT Boat Gunner, it is almost a relief to get the spike and have done with the cripplingly paranoid, ever-present expectation of it's imminent occurrence.

      This has only given me a real appreciation for the magnitude of the PTSD experienced by Combat Veterans, who have (I'm sure) been subjected to exponentially far greater trauma.
       
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    22. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      Yes, but I theorize that it's from loud noise - I live in a noisy area and there's constant noise around. I used to insert ear plugs a lot until my tinnitus significantly worsened. Now, when I do it, there's obviously NO masking so I am damned if I do...
       
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    23. Wrfortiscue
      Provocative

      Wrfortiscue Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      Yeah I know what you mean, it can be torture.
       
    24. Mark62

      Mark62 Member

      Location:
      Midwest, United States
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/25/2021
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noisy van?
      Ollie, how are you doing?

      Mark
       
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    25. Andrew01
      No Mood

      Andrew01 Member

      Location:
      Toronto
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/01/2021
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown / Began 5 days after second Moderna shot
      I don't know what to do. The Mirtazapine I took just because I wanted sleep quite possibly gave me visual snow, so now I am trying to quit it and hoping my tinnitus doesn't get worse (Mirtazapine seems to help with the tinnitus a bit).

      Going through withdrawal, dealing with visual snow syndrome, tinnitus with multiple tones (loudest is a sizzling head sound), and hyperacusis (this is improving a bit thankfully with protection) feels like too much.

      I just wanted to make things better but seems every step I take is in the wrong direction. Originally Ativan helped me sleep in the beginning but I didn't want to take it long term and thought Mirtazapine would be a better choice.

      I want to hold on until I can at least try a treatment or something in 10 years but I don't know if anything will ever help for non-NIHL tinnitus..

      I just feel so lost.
       
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    26. Ken219
      Frustrated

      Ken219 Member

      Location:
      New York Area
      Tinnitus Since:
      Summer of 1990
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure?
      Don't be stigmatized by using medication. Medications can help you cope and sleep. When you find what works for you stay with it. Always work with your doctors!
       
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    27. Andrew01
      No Mood

      Andrew01 Member

      Location:
      Toronto
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/01/2021
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown / Began 5 days after second Moderna shot
      Thanks Ken, I don't have an issue with medication or those that use it, only that it's a minefield trying to figure out what can help and what can hurt. I do wish I explored mindfulness based approaches first before reaching for the RX as my situation is objectively worse now but I was in a state of panic at the time so can't fault myself.

      It's going to be tough coming off the mirtazapine as it does help with my tinnitus a bit but I think it is the best long term strategy, and I do want to be around long term at the end of the day.
       
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    28. danielthor

      danielthor Member

      Location:
      Denmark
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      @Andrew01, the visual snow could be just an adjustment-phase. I had the same when I started Abilify. I got scared, but it passed within a few days / weeks. If you feel like it’s helping and you don’t mind being on it, then I would say to stay on it for a few more weeks and see if it doesn’t settle.

      I myself have been on Mirtazapine for almost 2 years now and it has only helped.
       
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    29. Andrew01
      No Mood

      Andrew01 Member

      Location:
      Toronto
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/01/2021
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown / Began 5 days after second Moderna shot
      @danielthor, it's a good point, and one I'm seriously considering. I get really bright flashing lights in my closed eyes for a few hours after the Mirtazapine has kicked in, so I know the connection is there. Overall the visual snow doesn't fuss me too much right now, apart from some dark floaters, but don't want it to get worse, or have a more difficult withdrawal down the road.

      I'm going to think about it carefully, I really do think it helps my tinnitus somehow so if I stay on, I hope that it doesn't wear off.
       
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    30. ALS
      Alone

      ALS Member

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2021 ; worsened 6/2021
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Years of headphone use (too long and too loud)
      @Andrew01, I've also gotten visual snow and dark floaters on Mirtazapine. I'm currently tapering to hopefully keep it from getting worse. I get a static/insects flitting around effect when looking at a wall or at the sky in sunlight. Sucks. Weight gain also sucks.

      Maybe a lower dose would still help while minimizing the effects for you? Just a thought. Take care ❤
       
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