Suicidal

Discussion in 'Support' started by jeremy06, Oct 14, 2018.

    1. InfiniteLoop
      Relaxed

      InfiniteLoop Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Redwood City, California
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/21/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      High frequency hearing loss in left ear from head trauma (?)
      Most of the people in this thread are very depressed. We know that there is basically nothing that will treat the root cause that is tinnitus, but the depression can be treated better than the noise. Start working on that problem, and the noise will be more bearable. Sorry that I can not give better advice after being in this hell for more that seven years. Let the noise be part of you, let it be your soundtrack, and let it be your lullaby.
       
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    2. jasonbourne

      jasonbourne Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise
      That would be fine if it stayed the same. We all know it gradually gets worse. As you get older, it's guaranteed to get worse. You can't accept something that keeps changing. Especially if it changes on a daily basis which happens for most of us. I don't know of a single day where my tinnitus volume was consistent.
       
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    3. tpj
      Depressed

      tpj Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2008
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      probably noise
      That's one painful lullaby.
       
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    4. Gee82

      Gee82 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      With all respect, I couldn’t disagree more.
       
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    5. Gabriel5050
      Balanced

      Gabriel5050 Member Podcast Patron Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure (most likely)
      Today was a very bad day for me. Worse than usual. On top of tinnitus and hyperacusis, I also had an argument with my family.

      It's like they yell at me because they know it hurts me. It's a sort of fight I can't win. I'm practically too disabled by this condition. They don't even have any remorse for hurting me. They even become physically aggressive hitting me if they can't find an argument to counter mine. It's not even the first time it happened. I'm better off killing myself than live a life where I have no one to turn to and in a world I can't survive because of tinnitus and hyperacusis.
       
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    6. Stacken77
      Wishful

      Stacken77 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise (likely headphones & cars), Acoustic trauma did me in
      That's so damn sad and cruel, I'm so sorry.

      Would I not had the support I had, I don't know if I would have survived this trying time. It's so though and stressful, and I know the feeling of getting perpetually worse.

      You don't have to share, but why does arguments arise? Is it due to the tinnitus and hyperacusis?

      I'm thinking about you a lot Gabriel,
      Stacken
       
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    7. TheDanishGirl
      Sad

      TheDanishGirl Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Denmark
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2017 (H since 06/2017)
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      long term noise exposure (headphones), maybe some stress.
      You've never heard of pain hyperacusis, I take it?
       
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    8. InfiniteLoop
      Relaxed

      InfiniteLoop Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Redwood City, California
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/21/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      High frequency hearing loss in left ear from head trauma (?)
      My tinnitus is very variable in tones and loudness. It is an added challenge. My hearing has degraded further since onset seven years ago and the tinnitus has stayed about the same.
       
    9. Stacken77
      Wishful

      Stacken77 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise (likely headphones & cars), Acoustic trauma did me in
      I think the original post was meant to address tinnitus alone. If it doesn't straight up perpetually worsen, then the advice given is very true.

      Sensitivity to sound in its many manifestations and severities are just another beast. Words cannot describe how cruel it can be when its true wrath manifest.

      I usually try to maintain a very positive outlook on things, but the above is just the plain truth about hyperacusis.

      Stacken
       
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    10. Gabriel5050
      Balanced

      Gabriel5050 Member Podcast Patron Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure (most likely)
      @Stacken77, there's multiple reasons for arguments. I try to avoid most of them. I don't feel comfortable sharing all the causes, but some of them are from me not being able to take care of myself or my parents in the future; or me getting distressed by them being loud because "the world is loud anyway and what are you gonna about it?".
       
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    11. Chinmoku

      Chinmoku Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Started with a cold, possibly worsened by medication/noise
      I have the same problem with my kids, I asked them not to shout many times but they forget and when they are angry with me they shout. It's a nightmare. Similarly with my ex. My brother is the only one who got it but he doesn't know how bad it is. Only some people here understand this ever worsening torture. I understand your feelings.
       
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    12. jasonbourne

      jasonbourne Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise
      So even you haven't accepted your lullaby since you're still fighting it, so why do you advise others to? Accept means to accept your fate, not to accept your tinnitus tones since it's never consistent.

      BTW your advice of accepting tinnitus definitely works for mild cases, but most of us here are in the moderate-severe group with multiple varying tones. That advice doesn't work anymore. Accepting your fate, is more honest.
       
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    13. fishbone
      Shitfaced

      fishbone Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1988
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud noise and very bad sickness
      I am so so sorry that you deal with this. I truly understand how you feel and what you are going through. My family and friends (that I do not see anymore) were not taking my ringing as a serious thing. They would just carry on and Ignore my situation. They would turn up the stereo, talk loud and have no care at all about the ringing. I have had to make a lot of adjustments in my life and I am still doing it.

      I try my best to educate people on what I face 24/7, If they care, then great. If not, then I will not be around them.
       
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    14. InfiniteLoop
      Relaxed

      InfiniteLoop Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Redwood City, California
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/21/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      High frequency hearing loss in left ear from head trauma (?)
      My initial advice was about treating the depression that is the common denominator of this thread (as much as is tinnitus). Acceptance is a personal subject, and it is very common that one can accept the tinnitus intellectually, but not accepting it emotionally.

      About my personal tale, I will never be a success story, the tinnitus still really affects me, but after 7.5 years I am still alive and kicking. Very slow habituation is my fate and curse.
       
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    15. Óscar PP

      Óscar PP Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Nov 2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Coronavirus
      Before doing anything drastic, try to get stem cell infusions. The ones with exosomes are the most promising tinnitus-wise.
       
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    16. Tau
      In pain

      Tau Member

      Location:
      Europe
      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      2019-Concert, 2021-headphones/acoustic trauma at 110dB,16kHz
      Do you mean stem cell secretome treatment (cell-free, containing growth factors and exosomes)? Because stem cells will release exosomes if you get a cell infusion, too. I think most people have had the best results with StemCells21 treatment.
       
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    17. Óscar PP

      Óscar PP Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Nov 2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Coronavirus
      Yes, that one. But there are cheaper treatments in Mexico where you can get exosomes for $2,500, and good quality ones.

      Never give up before trying stem cells, people.
       
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    18. Tau
      In pain

      Tau Member

      Location:
      Europe
      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      2019-Concert, 2021-headphones/acoustic trauma at 110dB,16kHz
      Can you tell the names of those clinics? I would like to do some research on them. I've paid €20,000 for autologous stem cell secretome treatment in Germany, so proper EU safety and regulations (going there in 3 weeks).
       
    19. danielthor

      danielthor Member

      Location:
      Denmark
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      What is the name of that clinic again?
       
    20. Tau
      In pain

      Tau Member

      Location:
      Europe
      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      2019-Concert, 2021-headphones/acoustic trauma at 110dB,16kHz
      Anova IRM. They don't officially treat hearing disorders, but they've evaluated my case (auditory neuropathy - quite possibly only cochlear synaptopathy) and since their treatment seems to work on ALS/MS, they've agreed to take my case (as it's mostly neurological).

      That's one single thing keeping me somewhat hopeful. The awful distortions, the hyperacusis, the 12+ tinnitus sounds... And floaters, oh my goodness, the floaters. I need to stare at a screen for a significant portion of the day and the floaters are there all the time. If I get an improvement from the secretome, I will get the floaters treated, too.
       
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    21. Gee82

      Gee82 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Good luck with the stem cell treatment, I hope it it can soothe your symptoms. Keep us posted :)
       
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    22. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      I don't "accept" my severe tinnitus. I don't even know what that means. I know some of you talk about that but it's alien to me, no offense to you who speak like that.

      I can't think of a good analogy since I consider it as the worst condition in the world to have or one of them.

      I guess, I wonder whether you would ask a blind, limbless person if they accept it? Not the same but severe tinnitus just makes me want everything to stop. Of course, you would welcome a cure or an improvement that makes it minor at least - otherwise, if there was an option at euthanasia, there would most definitely be a time during the day that you would take it.
       
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    23. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      No. The tinnitus causes the depression. How can the depression be treated then?

      You sound like a doctor who is unaware of severe tinnitus.
       
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    24. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      I have some floaters too. I fucking hate when I noticed them. I have a friend who has minor tinnitus and some floaters. I was told they'll eventually worsen or something? All I have left is my eyes and I depend on my computer. I don't even know what else to say on it. :(
       
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    25. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      Thanks for the "hugs" guys although it doesn't help - you know what I mean, right?

      I don't remember all the users here who described their floaters but some have worse ones than mine. I can tell from their descriptions. It scares the shit out of me and I try not to read their posts anymore when they post about it - because I fear it getting that bad. All I remember is @TheDanishGirl's floaters.

      The only way I describe it is they're like rain drops across a window but sorta resemble worms moving through your eyes/vision. Geez.
       
    26. Ed209

      Ed209 Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2015
      I've had floaters since I was a kid. If I'm in a place with light walls, such as a hospital, they are more obvious in my field of vision. Stringy clear ones, splodges, and a few black ones. Also, in low light conditions, I have what seems to be mild visual snow, but I think most people's vision has a static haze in low light or whilst looking at carpets (or certain repeating patterns), for example. I'm not sure, though. My wife said her eyes do the same thing. I don't really pay any attention to it, and it's never bothered me, but people may have it way worse than I do. I've also noticed that each of my eyes sees colours slightly differently.

      I have got really high intraocular pressures (around 34), which is more of a concern as my dad went blind in one eye with glaucoma, even though he was taking the eye drop medication. I'm due for my yearly check-up next month as they have to monitor my optic disc for signs of damage.
       
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    27. TinaRuns

      TinaRuns Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Sept 2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection / perforation
      I don't think this is true. Some people get better, many people habituate and leave this site forever (as I've done before and hope to do again), and, like everything else health related, there WILL be variations in those who take extra good care of themselves and their ears, and those who don't.

      Just as an example, I'm about to run 7 miles, and lift weights, then eat lots of fruits and veggies. Those things help me stay positive despite my tinnitus. And I personally believe those things along with careful supplementation and blood tests, and care for my ears, will prevent my tinnitus from getting worse.

      Most importantly, this is the type of doom and gloom thinking that makes this site an unfortunate mental health danger to everyone who reads and posts here. I always come for the tips and helpful advice (for which I am very grateful, and which have helped me stay safer with my ears). But these types of comments are really depressing and we should not be thinking this way. We are also all going to die but we don't discuss our certain death every day. (And tinnitus has way better odds of not getting worse and / or they might develop a treatment.)
       
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    28. Kriszti

      Kriszti Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016/2017/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      This is the Suicidal thread, so here of all places despair and depression might be expected.

      Tinnitus is an unfortunate mental health danger on its own without the doom and gloom thinking.

      Yeah, we should not be thinking this way, but our ears/brain should not be ringing either.

      I like your attitude and I hope it serves you well, but I guess, many of us here are not quite there yet or not any more.
       
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    29. InfiniteLoop
      Relaxed

      InfiniteLoop Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Redwood City, California
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/21/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      High frequency hearing loss in left ear from head trauma (?)
      I am a doctor, but not in Medicine. My specialty is Physical-Chemistry.I have severe tinnitus. I hear it 24/7 and even when I am driving and in any other noisy activity. Sometimes I hear it in the shower, sometimes I don't.

      The problem is that you do not learn and that is why you are stuck in this thread forever. You have to learn to manage the tinnitus because there is no other therapy available. Depression is one of the most common triggers to tinnitus related suicide, and that it was you have to treat it to avoid the down spiral. I am not talking about perfect habituation or recovering your previous life, it is just about survival skills.
       
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    30. HootOwl

      HootOwl Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Advocate

      Location:
      California
      Tinnitus Since:
      2009
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Explanation in About You
      Yes, I still do. Nothing has really changed.
       
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