Suicidal

Discussion in 'Support' started by jeremy06, Oct 14, 2018.

    1. TheDanishGirl
      Sad

      TheDanishGirl Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Denmark
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2017 (H since 06/2017)
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      long term noise exposure (headphones), maybe some stress.
      I'm so so sorry to hear of your situation. It's devastating and completely heartbreaking :( I am considering Pegasos myself and I'm currently saving up for VAD, as an insurance of a peaceful way out. And if things get much worse, Pegasos will be the one I will contact for help. I already emailed them before and they replied that they have helped people with tinnitus and hyperacusis before.
       
    2. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      I tried to DIY it and it failed in June. I used exit bag and was hospitalized in inpatient psych.

      Pegasos accepts tinnitus as a reason and they speak English. Call them.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    3. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      I just use Mack’s earplugs when I go out. They are cheap and work well.
       
    4. AliasM
      Depressed

      AliasM Member

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      September 2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Botched lumbar puncture, CSF leak.
      Yes, I'm not going to do a DIY job. I have been cleared of any metal health issues but if I try and fail, they won't recognise non terminal physical torture and suffering as separate from mental illness. If I try and fail I could also get worse and not be able to fly myself around the world solo to Switzerland.

      DanishGirl, I contacted them months ago and was told the same. I was not satisfied then that I had tried EVERYTHING. There were still things I could try, so the application process was on hold.

      I have 4 young kids. I am not sure if we have a personal family meeting, or psychologist mediated meeting to talk this out with my children. So much to work out and my husband just will not speak when I talk to him about it. I am going ahead. I feel satisfied that I have tried everything, and I cannot wait for future and emerging options. My only stones left unturned are psychedelics, which I don't even know how to get hold of. I am also trying to arrange a one on one with Dr. De Ridder to ask if he has any insight into my case. I have reached out to both him and his office several times though with no response.

      Thank you. The soothing thought of a dignified death is all that is getting me through the days with this 24/7 audiological hell.
       
      • Hug Hug x 3
    5. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      Doesn’t Pegasos offer services for psychiatric illnesses only too? I don’t understand.
       
    6. SB1981

      SB1981 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Multifactorial
      How did your exit bag fail? I have the supplies gathered for this if I get to an unmanageable point so it failing concerns me.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    7. AliasM
      Depressed

      AliasM Member

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      September 2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Botched lumbar puncture, CSF leak.
      Sorry I just read over my post and I wasn't clear. I meant that my doctors HERE won't realise that you can want to die, and not be suffering with your mental health at the same time. They're pretty ignorant.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    8. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      I bought a nitrogen regulator. Everything was good to go. Put the bag on that I made, let it fill up and started breathing. Passed out about 7 seconds or so later, woke up with the bag off my head and gas flowing. Woke up hypoxic, vomiting, headache, and trails in my vision, but alive. As far as I can tell, no lasting damage. This was in late June. I have not tried this again.

      I’m giving life a chance for the time being since this was caused by the COVID-19 vaccine and then Klonopin. There’s a small chance it can improve in time.

      it may have failed because I had the bag on too tight and didn’t allow enough CO2 from my breathing to escape. I am not sure though.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
      • Informative Informative x 1
    9. Greg Sacramento

      Greg Sacramento Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame Advocate

      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      syringing and now somatic T dental work
      @AliasM, so sorry. It's real important to do almost nothing for eight weeks after getting a blood patch. Little and careful bending, lifting, stretching or twisting. I know that won't be easy and with children.

      My friend, it's easy for someone else to do the talk, but I understand. I often think about you since we last had conversations a while ago.

      If this blood patch doesn't provide healing, then seek a second patch by the best interventional anesthesiologist you can find.

      Hugs to a dear friend.
       
    10. Clerkp

      Clerkp Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2000
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud Music
      Jesus man. This is gut wrenching. Please take care of yourself and seek help. I’m not one to pray but I am praying for you. Is there nothing you can do to mask it?
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    11. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      My tinnitus is very reactive. It can’t be masked. I have hyperacusis too. Nothing can be done and I’m miserable.
       
      • Hug Hug x 3
      • Agree Agree x 1
    12. Damocles
      Pooptoast

      Damocles Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      2009
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear Infection
      Hey @Nanny chocolate,

      I hate to disappoint you, but after years of unemployment and struggling just to survive my day to day life with tinnitus, I am merely a part-time "licensing administrator"; a job as bland as it sounds, and one I regard as a massive waste of my unhoned talents. So very much a square peg in a round hole situation, or in my case, perhaps, a round peg in a square hole.

      Anyway, if you detect a sliver of creativity applied to the creation of my posts, it'll probably be to do with the fact I was an art and linguistics student up to the point I developed severe tinnitus.

      I was frequently encouraged to go into science and/or medicine, but anything in those fields usually feels like work and I'm admittedly quite lazy unless the thing I'm doing feels like fun. So to the dismay of many people, I became an arts student. :LOL:
      DqJQ3k.gif
       
      • Winner Winner x 2
      • Hug Hug x 1
    13. Mnq16

      Mnq16 Member

      Location:
      London
      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown- Visual Snow related
      For a while now my left ear (non tinnitus affected ear funnily enough) vibrates when I talk, accompanied by a constant fullness sensation which varies in severity. It is so distressing and uncomfortable and it is causing me to isolate so I don't have to talk.

      I just need some reassurance that I'm not the only one this has happened to and that it won't be here forever as I'm getting dragged deeper and deeper into a dark hole.

      Thanks guys.
       
    14. Suzan Aydin

      Suzan Aydin Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Is this really true, my inflammatory markers were fine, circulating complexes were fine. Immunoglobulins were fine, though IgG was borderline. ESR was fine. ABR was fine. Hearing is fine from last check over a year ago, just Eustachian tube dysfunction (my Eustachian tubes are fkd since I was a kid).

      only ECoGs showed elevated pressure in inner ear (0.44 and 0.35 below is normal) but SP/AP ratio time was normal.

      the HSP-70 has scared me…. I’m thinking damn… I’m gonna go deaf soon?

      only symptom really is pulsatile tinnitus that comes and goes (Serc helps), I can stop it by pressing my jugular vein, and sometimes feeling a bit one sided but that’s it. I can close my eyes and balance on one leg for 1 minute I was thinking maybe Superior semicircular dehiscence? I think it’s called that. I hope it’s not autoimmune… I really do… I do feel the lymph node behind my right ear swell and go down frequently though…
       
    15. Clerkp

      Clerkp Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2000
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud Music
      Wishing you well.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    16. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      I’m so disappointed where my life has ended up. I used to be happy and the life of the party, had lots of friends, a son I loved. I never knew depression. Now I’m sick and miserable and a shell of myself. I just fight through everyday. I never ever thought I’d be researching ways to end a life I loved so much, but here I am. It’s a fucking nightmare with no end in sight and the sad thing is the fate we are handed is worse than death. It’s truly shameful how life can end in the blink of an eye. I knew once I got that vaccine reaction life was over. I really want to live but not like this. I’m out of work and don’t know what to do?
       
      • Hug Hug x 8
    17. Nanny chocolate

      Nanny chocolate Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Devon
      Tinnitus Since:
      1995
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unbelievable caused by audiologist!
      A round peg in a square hole gives room for manoeuvre!

      How could you possibly be a disappointment when you have such a great sense of humour and self-deprecation.

      I think you are a sweetie (pun intended) @Damocles.
       
      • Like Like x 1
      • Agree Agree x 1
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