PennyCat

PennyCat

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  • PennyCat
    Would greatly appreciate any words of encouragement. Anxiety back at extreme levels + suicidal ideation :(
    View previous comments…
    PennyCat
    @Juliane I'm sorry you're in a similar place :( I have had some good days, for most of July I was doing okay with my T and had stretches of time I didn't notice or pay attention to it. But for some reason it's back in my awareness and I have OCD so it quickly becomes a hyperfixation. I hope there are better days coming for all of us as well!
    T
    Ah @PennyCat, hate that you feel like this but @Joe Cuber is right. You did it once, you can do this again.
    PennyCat
    @tpj Thank you <3 I hope you're right
    PennyCat
    I swear every time I get back on my feet and think I'll be okay it knocks me down again. It'll never be okay, maybe I need to learn that
    Mo8409
    Same! It changes up right when I think I can finally get used to it. Keep on hanging in there. We are right here with ya!
    kingsfan
    This has been my experience. After nearly 3 years I've learned to just keep rolling with it, but it is quite exhausting.
    PennyCat
    My main sound seems to be a high pitched hissing sizzle in the middle of my head. Can't tell if this is a good or bad sign.
    View previous comments…
    PennyCat
    Logically I know I'll be okay. But my anxiety says otherwise
    SilverFox
    Some of my own T sounds sometimes become less loud and turn into a hiss. When it becomes loud again, it turns into a pure tone. I think that getting a hiss is a better sign than a pure tone.
    RunningMan
    Mine cycles between single tone squeal, hiss, and even a broken staticy hiss every day or two. it's been doing this for 18 months - can't say anything has changed over time with the tinnitus, just the more recent developments of hyperacusis and TTTS. The piercing squeal is the worst of the tinnitus sounds.
    PennyCat
    Do you think it'll keep getting worse for me? Will it eventually stay steady? I'm a little over 8 months in. I just want to habituate
    Mo8409
    Absolutely! I think when you hit 18 months or so it will start to even itself out. I've seen severe habituate. As long as you protect your hearing or you're not taking anything that could stop your body from healing. It should even out for you. ❤️
    SarahMLFlemmer
    I'm almost 8 months in. Right there with you.
    RunningMan
    18 months after first distressing tinnitus is when I first I suddenly started experiencing hyperacusis - and TTTS not long before that. No improvement in the tinnitus, still cycling through the same sounds.
    PennyCat
    Venogram scheduled for September 5th, 3 days after my 23rd birthday. That will be fun
    T
    Hopefully you'll get some answers @PennyCat.
    PennyCat
    @tpj Hopefully! I talked to someone in the PT group on FB who saw the same doctor as me. After the venogram he immediately moved to stent her the same day and she is cured of her PT. That's my ideal scenario. But trying not to get hopes up too high
    T
    How about cautiously optimistic?
    PennyCat
    Another update: INR saw narrowing in one of my veins that could be causing PT symptoms. Wants to do catheter venogram. More in comments soon
    PennyCat
    My parents seem skeptical about all of this. I'm sure part of it is financial concerns. I hope insurance will cover a stent, should I be a candidate. I really hope I will be
    PennyCat
    One of those days where I'm more aware of my T and it stresses me out. But I haven't slept well the past 2 nights so I'm sure that's why.
    PennyCat
    Just got a CTV (and I think CTA) done of my head to evaluate my pulsatile T. Kinda hope they find something that they can fix …
    PennyCat
    TTTS, why are you back… please go away again
    View previous comments…
    PennyCat
    @sakrt I haven't, but I might have to give that a shot if it doesn't settle back down soon. Thanks for the suggestion!
    sakrt
    @PennyCat I'm trying this strategy myself and it seems to help somewhat. (Ongoing experimenting).
    sakrt
    TTTS is very annoying and disturbing. I often describe the sound and sensation alike gears in my ear trying to calibrate, but are instead slipping -repeatedly- trying to reset itself.
    PennyCat
    My normal T has been much more in my focus again lately and bothering me/making me anxious. Not sure why :(
    Mo8409
    Maybe it's the anxiety? Anxiety can make everything 10 times worse! I'm a nervous person too. Trying to control it better. I hope things start to look up for you
    SarahMLFlemmer
    Cause it's never ending. Keep hangin' on, one day at a time.
    PennyCat
    Update: I finish my anxiety program on Monday. TTTS comes and goes. Pulsatile T still bad. Normal T still bothers me sometimes. I am anxious
    Ryan Scott
    What program?
    PennyCat
    @Ryan Scott A local program I've been doing since late April. The model they use is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), so if you're looking for something similar near you, you could look into that :)
    PennyCat
    Psych prescribed Buspar which I've taken before (pre-T) w no issues… but saw someone on here who got T from it, & now I'm scared to take it
    PennyCat
    Didn't post for it, but earlier this month was 6 months of T. Everything has pretty much just progressively gotten worse instead of better.
    PennyCat
    Crackling and bubbling occurring in PT ear. Probably exacerbating the PT, but not much I can do for it… I already use Flonase :/
    PennyCat
    I really don't think I can go on anymore. I can't live like this and I don't want to. So many ear symptoms. Unbearable.
    PennyCat
    My anxiety is bad today. TTTS and PT really putting me through the wringer right now. Really hope they settle down. I want to feel okay
    SamRosemary
    The ttts seems to come and go. The good thing is the anxiety and panic because of it gets less and less as time goes on.
    obnoxious
    For a couple of months I was able to trigger TTTS episodes by _burping_. They would last _an entire fucking day_, independent muscle twitching without any sound trigger.
    S
    I've had ttts in my left ear for aslong as I can remember when certain sounds happen. I assumed it was normal with noise. Doesn't bother me anymore. You'll get there @PennyCat :)
    PennyCat
    My TTTS being back is really upsetting me. I hope it settles again. It's hard not to get anxious about it and catastrophize.
    Mo8409
    Easier said then done! Don't let the anxiety get to you! Anxiety makes everything worse. *Hugs*
    PennyCat
    Hi everyone
    View previous comments…
    T
    I read about Penny. Poor thing! Glad she's ok. And I'm proud of you. You had to wait there a long time. Hope it wasn't too bad for you.
    SarahMLFlemmer
    Hi there. <3 hope you're hanging in there okay.
    PennyCat
    @tpj Thank you! Yeah, it was pretty rough for a variety of reasons.
    @SarahMLFlemmer Thanks, I'm struggling a bit again with my TTTS but I hope it passes. Hope you're hanging in there too!
    @Joe Cuber Hello hello, Joe :)
    PennyCat
    My TTTS had been minimal or pretty much gone for a month or so, but it seems to be back today. Hope it goes away again :/
    View previous comments…
    RunningMan
    I had this happen on one occasion back in Feb/Mar 2022 when one of my co-workers to my left would speak to a group of us in a room, my left ear fluttered. Maybe 20 minutes before I left. Never happened again until yesterday, over 1 yr later, and it happened while listening to a podcast here but not until I had been listening for quite a while. Same thing - speaking on padcast made left ear flutter. Weird.
    RunningMan
    I don't normally sit and listen to podcasts at my computer, so that was unusual. No unusual noise exposure or unusual earplug use. My anxiety and depression levels are up recently, though - maybe a factor.
    PennyCat
    @RunningMan Mine seems to come and go. I know that anxiety and TTTS are closely associated, and for me I think it's probably the cause or a huge contributor. So that may be the case for you too. I know other people develop it from ear trauma though, but stress can definitely exacerbate it.
    PennyCat
    This pulsatile T is making me absolutely miserable. I cannot sleep at all. Starting to think it's not going to settle back down. Fuck life
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    T
    @PennyCat, are you still taking Zoloft? If so, I would be cautious about using these drugs together. Perhaps you could talk to your doctor about it first.
    RunningMan
    @sakrt That's true about dementia, even the over the counter ones, not sure about the newer DORA sleep meds. ADs can do the same. Of course, lack of sleep is associated with dementia also.
    PennyCat
    @tpj I am. An old psych prescribed it while I was on ADs in the past, and my new psych also mentioned prescribing it to me, but at the time I hesitated because of my past experience with it making me sick. So I'm pretty sure it's safe to take on top of most ADs. But I'll definitely bring it up at my next appointment
    PennyCat
    So I need an MRA/MRV for my pulsatile T but I'm scared it'll make my normal T, TTTS, and H worse :/
    View previous comments…
    PennyCat
    @Damocles No, at least not that I've experienced. But I'm worried the loudness of the scans will, especially with how sensitive my ears are and with TTTS. But I don't even have scans scheduled so I'm worrying over a hypothetical scenario at this point
    Damocles
    Damocles
    Of course avoiding scans like these is the best thing a tinnitus sufferer (of any type/severity) can do, if possible.

    Maybe give it to the end of the year and see if things don't improve by themselves(?).
    PennyCat
    PT ear has been feeling full, and today there's a wet crackling sound when I press around it. Fluid in ear? Maybe from TMJ?
    PennyCat
    I already do Flonase every day & take Zyrtec, so not sure what else I can do for that
    makeyourownluck
    Not sure to be honest @PennyCat, but resist the urge to keep popping your ears (if your doing that at all)
    PennyCat
    I sound like a broken record, but I really can't do this
    View previous comments…
    PennyCat
    @makeyourownluck Thanks :,) If I'm not mistaken, do you also have pulsatile T, or did at one point? How do you cope??
    makeyourownluck
    Yeah still got it, right ear, I manage ok but it impacts me more than my regular T now since it's variable.

    In terms of coping, I was a hot mess for months, then I just veey slowly got used to it. Still shit, and always will be, but it doesn't impact my life too badly anymore.
    makeyourownluck
    Hope that helps
    PennyCat
    I'm really starting to believe that the T, pulsatile T, and TTTS are going to push me to the edge and then… :/ I'm so scared
    TheCapybara
    As someone that dealt with these thoughts and anxiety long before T became an issue, it's really important to try and keep busy/distracted with things you like to do to not fixate on it and get through the bad days. Take it easy Penny, you're going to be okay.
    PennyCat
    Finally got the courage to increase my Zoloft dose today. Hopefully it doesn't make my tinnitus worse. But if it does, I can re-adjust dose
    PennyCat
    Still struggling and freaking out about my pulsatile T. I hope it settles back to how it used to be soon. I can't live like this
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