Suicidal

Discussion in 'Support' started by jeremy06, Oct 14, 2018.

    1. Andrei88
      No Mood

      Andrei88 Member

      Location:
      South Africa
      Tinnitus Since:
      9/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      I can live with the noise! I have gotten used to the noise over 8 years, but the pain, I hate the pain!
      We will never know if there will ever be a cure till there actually is a cure! May that day arrive soon!
       
      • Agree Agree x 3
    2. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      People are confused here? When people decide to become a doctor, it's because of the income. The vast majority are doing it because of the money. They are not altruistic humanitarians. It's not because of the corporate climate, it's because they are greedy. People are greedy.
       
      • Agree Agree x 2
    3. 100Hz

      100Hz Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure
      I think about some strange things sometimes almost like trying to justify that death would be OK now that life is so bad. If I see old photos or old film from say 60, 70 years ago I think things like 'probably most of these people are dead now anyway, it's OK to die, I'd be dead in 60 years anyway, everybody dies, it's the legacy you leave behind that counts.' Weird, but it's only the pain or the boredom of a hyperacusis life making these surreal thoughts about life and death come into my head. I have so much ambition in life that I can't fulfill now so all I feel like is a dead man anyway. This is hopeless.
       
      • Agree Agree x 3
      • Hug Hug x 2
    4. ACG
      Studious

      ACG Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not Sure
      I read an article yesterday about long haul Covid and had the same thought. If the doctors don't know what's causing it, they chalk it up to anxiety. So frustrating.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    5. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Toronto, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      Do you have a high pitch EEEEEEEE between 6 to 8 khz???

      It's just very severe tinnitus, nothing more...

      We should keep in touch.
       
      • Funny Funny x 1
    6. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Toronto, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      Don't complain you're alone then :rolleyes: there are tons of guys here.
       
    7. Greg Sacramento

      Greg Sacramento Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      syringing and now somatic T dental work
      I had the same. Had an echocardiogram from heart to neck, neck and head radiological exams - MRA is best, ultrasound and radiological exams of kidneys, abdominal aortic and ultrasound of jugular and carotid. Saw eye doctors. Had complete blood work. All these areas had effects due to my HC. Other than your heart beats and eye problems, I can't say what treatments you may need. You may have high blood pressure, that may be normal when in the doctor's office. I would consider discussing hypertension to your doctor about eye problems, heart beating and pulsatile tinnitus. Specialists in these areas are needed. Medications and non surgical retina treatment may help you. Control of not overloading (too much) vitamin A is important. No abrupt cessation of antihypertensive drugs.

      Also important is finding ways to lower hypertension - research how to lower hypertension naturally.
       
      • Helpful Helpful x 1
    8. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      Joyce basically admitted that she would never speak up against Jastreboff as it's political suicide. I don't know what Pollard's view is but he has mentioned publicly that TRT didn't work for him and that the clinical world mindessly advocates it as defacto. He still never publicly criticized TRT to my knowledge. Reality is boring, it's gonna take a long time before progress is made the way things are going.
       
    9. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      Is there a scientific reason for tinnitus to spike or worsen (whatever you call it, what's going on) late at night, at bed time, whatever?

      It always happens and if I don't get enough sleep, it's awful in the morning after waking up. Even if I get sleep (I need 8 hrs), it's still horrible but there's a perceptible difference despite it being bad either way.

      I don't want to browse the research section or ask there. Reading posts of people discussing there both depresses and annoys me, sorry, but just being honest.

      My tinnitus went from "10/10" to around 7/10 (I dunno!) for a period of time in the evening. Still bothersome but I could watch TV without it being as hellish and intrusive for a short while.

      Not now, though. It's bed time and it is back to being 11/10!!!!! Hence, my question. :(
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    10. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Toronto, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      Yeah that happens to me too when tinnitus hasn't decided on its baseline (could take years). So when your brain tries to relax it sort of loses control of tinnitus... there's no research to this, its just experience. Tinnitus scientists aren't interested in solving tinnitus idiosyncracies.
       
      • Informative Informative x 1
    11. vermillion
      No Mood

      vermillion Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Bad luck
      Yes I do. I also have physical sensation in my ears. Like water in my ears each time I hear a sound. Pain also comes and goes.
      Sure.

      @Greg Sacramento thank you for taking the time. I appreciate.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
      • Hug Hug x 1
    12. Shizune
      Terrified

      Shizune Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      H: 6/2020 T: 7/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Chemical exposure, made worse with benzo withdrawal
      I'm still fairly new to the tinnitus game since my hyperacusis is more of an issue. I actually even kind of enjoyed the original tones I had (fluttering cricket noises). But in just a day I've developed a distant, whining powertool noise in my good ear, and then new high pitched beeps in both ears. I don't even know how this was caused. It's only been a month since it began but jesus, with how bad my H has progressed as is, I can't imagine what my T is gonna do next.

      Any attempt or implication to my family that I don't want to live will get me thrown into a psych ward. Surrounded by loud people, beeping, slamming doors, and people who don't understand it or will think I have some sort of schizophrenia. Then it will be worse. If the doctors have been this incompetent, I can only imagine what lovely things the mental health "professionals" have to say. Really wish there was an easier way out that wasn't such a gamble.
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
    13. Greg Sacramento

      Greg Sacramento Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      syringing and now somatic T dental work
      Hard to answer. Anything can cause a spike.

      Although, often for me. With having a left side TMJ muscle soreness flare-up, or left sided neck muscle tightness, a spike may happen in my right ear ( or opposite side) because that ear has more hearing loss.

      From the trauma of pain or stress, my blood pressure may rise a bit more to the ear with the most hearing loss.

      I can also get a spike (both ears) with forward head bending to pick something up. This involves all my gone wrong systematics and with that blood rushes to both ears and my head.

      I get spikes from certain meds.

      For many, spike don't happen often, as no systematics break a line.
       
    14. Backpacker

      Backpacker Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      SSHL
      This (with or without dizziness) can also happen to people with any kind of third window. But in that case it would not be about blood rushing to the head. It would be about CSF rushing to the head. Just saying. I know you have other issues. I'm just saying if people who do not have high blood pressure have these symptoms they should avoid bending over, sleeping without a pillow and straining of any kind because bending over and excessive straining, coughing, crying etc can cause sudden raise in intracranial pressure, which can put too much pressure on the inner/middle ear membrane(s).
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    15. bobvann
      Cheeky

      bobvann Member

      Location:
      Inside the vortex
      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud shit
      My father in law passed away yesterday. He had a stroke 1.7 months ago and did not want to live like this. I think he willed himself to go.
       
      • Hug Hug x 10
    16. Nyx
      Alone

      Nyx Member Podcast Patron Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise
      I should really learn to shut up about tinnitus to healthcare workers.

      Went to the doctor for unrelated reasons today, and was asked about my mental health. I didn't have the energy to put on a fake smile and lie so I told her about tinnitus and how it's making me suicidal.

      You can probably see where this is going.

      Somehow I thought for once I would get a sympathetic person instead of someone trying to guilt trip me for not being able to habituate. Nope.

      "There is this thing called habituation, a lot of ways to deal with this stuff!!!"
      "You just need to learn to live with it, its your attitude!!"

      There is probably now a mark on my file somewhere stating I'm batshit crazy and to never believe anything I say. To people like her it's always going to be "just a sound in your head" and anyone who doesn't just "accept it" is at fault.

      "That sounds terrible, as you probably know there is nothing we can do medically but I'd be able to offer you a therapy appointment if you're interested in talking about it."

      That's all they need to say. Acknowledge the seriousness of my condition instead of treating me like someone complaining about a mosquito bite. I think therapy could be legitimately helpful for me if I could just rant about how garbage my life is once a week. Trying to find someone who would be up for that instead of pushing habituation as a miracle cure I'm too weak to accept, is just not worth the effort.

      I hope the rest of you had a better day.
       
      • Hug Hug x 7
      • Agree Agree x 6
    17. Harley

      Harley Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown
      If it was up to me, I would pull his medical license on the spot.
      People like that should not be in the profession of helping others.

      This is no different than telling someone with terminal cancer that he/she needs an attitude adjustment.
      Disgusting is an understatement.

      If I had the power to give someone tinnitus, this clown would get 10 out of 10 on the severity scale.
      After that, he would be singing a much different tune.
       
      • Agree Agree x 3
      • Winner Winner x 1
    18. Rajin

      Rajin Member Benefactor

      Location:
      PA
      Tinnitus Since:
      9/7/17
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Hearing loss ,noise
      Tinnitus is not easy. We need a cure sure even a treatment, but if we depend on that, we will never get better.

      I have had tinnitus now for 3 years. I was miserable too, but eventually your brain gets used to the noise, it becomes part of you.

      Anyone thinking of cutting short their life. I understand the pain, not easy to live with this fuck tinnitus noise, humans are not built for this shit, I seriously understand. But give it time because life is precious and beautiful.

      I feel sometimes this way too. To end it all because you can't live 100 percent normal life. Hang in there my friends.
       
      • Like Like x 7
      • Hug Hug x 1
    19. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      I was walking my dog near my building which is on 2 busy streets. I am walking up the sidewalk and some POS truck drives by and slows down not beside me but close enough. The fucking engine brake noise caused a spike and my right ear hurts. Actually both ears hurt. I don't understand how these spikes have a delay and suddenly happen!

      I am worried now! I haven't had external sounds really do anything for a long time and now this! I fucking hate my life SO FUCKING MUCH. :(

      This better settle down. :-(((
       
      • Hug Hug x 3
    20. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      No. Suicide is the ultimate conclusion. I know, guaranteed, I am doing it. I just don't know when. I don't believe that anyone will have a "cure" or any treatment that stops the ringing or reduces it significantly.

      It's hopeless and I got worse last April and I don't want to live with this torture indefinitely, for years.

      A loud noise just gave me a spike and I don't want to live in fear as my severity is already 10/10. Anything worse and I will want to kill myself that day.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    21. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      The pain in my right ear is still bad but suddenly my left ear has more pain.

      I don't understand that at all. I have no theories. But, the pain is severe.

      I shouldn't have to wear earplugs outside and torment myself to the ringing. Yet, I am risking another event like this.

      If I didn't have my dog, I would pick a suicide method.
       
    22. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      These people are useless. There's no treatment but even doctors do nothing. I hate our world and society.

      Why aren't researchers informing the doctors? Doctors will NEVER listen to the patients.
       
    23. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      I read on here recently from regulars and mods too (?) urging people to speak out etc. etc. which I find is pointless. Am I the only one?

      No one listens. If I explain my tinnitus, they say, "oh that sucks." Then they walk away. No one can help. But, no one listens anyway. I know that many here who have relatives and doctors that claim they care but they really don't do anything and barely listen.

      Only the researchers listen and I assume, they somewhat understand?!? They should be the ones to inform the doctors because only someone with medical credentials can get it through a doctor's thick skull the seriousness and genuine pain of the condition. Even ENTs are useless and they don't listen or care either. Or do researchers listen and care? I was trying to believe in the only optimistic possibility.
       
    24. Zugzug

      Zugzug Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Likely Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease; Sjogren's Syndrome
      I agree that ENTs need to learn a lot more about this. I saw several that were top rated. Top medical facilities, top patient evaluations, top credentials, etc. They were stunningly clueless. That was when I learned that this is a systemic problem.

      I think ENTs know they can't really do anything. I do wish, however, they would educate themselves on the seriousness of the disorder. I think they know that most cases of tinnitus are mild. Their biggest mistake is thinking that tinnitus is tinnitus and you learn to live with it.
       
      • Agree Agree x 2
    25. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      Most people have some awareness of knowing many people have mild tinnitus.
      But, that isn't helpful nor does that create awareness to those with most serious cases. I am under the impression that researchers know about moderate and severe tinnitus. Do they also know about related conditions such as hyperacusis and noxacusis? What about hidden hearing loss and ear pain? What about the prevalence of severe tinnitus? I will reiterate, only medical professionals with the awareness can communicate the reality to the rest of society including others in the medical field. They might listen if the information and explanation of the reality is coming from somebody in the medical field.
       
    26. Adaś
      Curious

      Adaś Member Podcast Patron Benefactor

      Location:
      Switzerland
      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Headphones, Stress, Rock concerts
      It is funny to see these claims that high frequencies are not clinically relevant, but at the same time because of problem of FX-322 reaching lower frequencies in the cochlea Frequency Therapeutics tries to convince investors that with current way of administering the drug that can only reach high-frequency regions, recovery of hearing high frequencies is indeed relevant. Sounds like quite a dissonance. Not to mention is that I believe most people have high pitched tinnitus.
       
      • Agree Agree x 3
    27. Adaś
      Curious

      Adaś Member Podcast Patron Benefactor

      Location:
      Switzerland
      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Headphones, Stress, Rock concerts
      @Orions Pain Sorry for late response, but I just randomly came across your post here. Yes I was taking Lyrica for couple of months and I did not experience any worsening of my symptoms. Actually it helped my to de-focus from ringing in my head and also calmed down my random thought process.
       
    28. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      My ear pain subsided quite a bit except some left ear pain remaining but not as bad. I have been having frequent headaches and that's actually bothering me more than the ear pain in a way.

      It makes everything worse. The spike and ringing is worse of all as I am confident I can get rid of the headache eventually. The spike is also quite loud. :-(
       
    29. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      My left ear still has pain. I am using a washcloth with ice and alternate with hot water as hot as I can stand.
      Does anyone who gets frequent ear pain have any ideas or do you think it will help?

      It is so strange that my right ear was in pain immediately after the noise, so painful that it would have led to tears but I just couldn't cry. I guess I have had ear pain so many times so?

      But, then during the same day, my left ear suddenly had severe pain. I don't understand why or how that happens.

      As bad as the pain is and it incapacitates me from doing anything, I just wish the spike would settle. I would do anything for reduced tinnitus or a real "cure" whatever that is.

      But, how f***ed up are (our) ears when an outside or external noise causes such severe ear pain and aggravates (spikes) tinnitus?!? :(

      I don't see the point of living with that when typical noise pollution causes pain and torture in the form of tinnitus.
       
    30. WillBeNimble
      Buzzed

      WillBeNimble Member Podcast Patron Benefactor

      Location:
      Ohio
      Tinnitus Since:
      2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Damage from earphones
      Is it funny? Because those claims are clearly wrong. Also, seeing speech in noise improvement is important. If FX-322 can fix what remains of my high frequency ranges, and resolve or lessen my tinnitus, I don't care what it takes for them to get it to market.
       

Share This Page

Loading...