Suicidal

Discussion in 'Support' started by jeremy06, Oct 14, 2018.

    1. Orions Pain
      Surrender

      Orions Pain Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise damage
      Next time I go to an audiologist I’ll see if the equipment they have has the capacity to test for this. It would be nice to have some closure. I do believe I have some hearing loss because on days when I am able to listen to music it sounds less dynamic than it used to. Like certain bits are missing.
       
    2. Orions Pain
      Surrender

      Orions Pain Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise damage
      My tinnitus isn’t really the tonal kind. It sounds like static/sand waterfall/hissing. If I put in ear plugs the Morse code beeping in my ear ramps up to a tone but it’s really hard to figure out the frequency since it only ramps up to a tone when I have ear plugs in.
       
    3. HootOwl

      HootOwl Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Advocate

      Location:
      California
      Tinnitus Since:
      2009
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Explanation in About You
      The place I went to can do it for $150 (without insurance). Up to 20kHz. Are you located in Southern California?
       
      • Like Like x 1
    4. Bartoli

      Bartoli Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2009,worsened 2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Mine is also a narrowband noise. It sounds a bit like sand falling on a glass plate or air leaking out of a tyre. Only a shower drowns it out in terms of volume, and even then I'm afraid to listen too intently for fear of hearing it in there.
       
    5. Orions Pain
      Surrender

      Orions Pain Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise damage
      No I’m in the Bay Area! Maybe I’ll call around - UCSF, Stanford, Berkeley, and see if any of them have more options. I think UCSF has a Hyperacusis/Tinnitus department.
       
    6. Orions Pain
      Surrender

      Orions Pain Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise damage
      Same for me. I think it just blends in with shower noise so it’s harder to distinguish. I remember going to the beach and the sound of waves was so overwhelming because I couldn’t figure out if it was my tinnitus or the sound of waves themselves :/
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
    7. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      i won't be here much longer, the meme making software is pretty much done. The evidence is going to be shipped to the State of Hawaii tomorrow.
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
    8. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      Also if anyone realizes when people take leaves of of work for health problems, it's not always expected for them to get better. They are expected to "manage and accept" their new gimped life. Medical litature on horrifying health problems literally EXPECTS resilience/tolerance to build up over time. That's fictional BS.

      SSI literally admits to this being the case. The habituation paradigm goes way beyond tinnitus.
       
      • Agree Agree x 10
    9. GregCA
      Jaded

      GregCA Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Otosclerosis
      I did a high frequency audiogram at Kaiser. I think that was during the same session we were doing tinnitus volume/pitch match.
       
    10. Orions Pain
      Surrender

      Orions Pain Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise damage
      Oh gotcha. When I saw my first Audiologist it was like 5 days into having hyperacusis/tinnitus so I knew absolutely nothing about it, didn’t ask much. At this point I had Blue Cross but recently switched to Kaiser. I’ll ask them next time I go.
       
    11. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      I feel 100% the same as you do.
       
    12. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      I assume it's mild and they left the site or it's really bad and they offed themselves. You don't have to like or agree with my assumptions.

      I also can't do any of the tests they're talking about and my ear is in pain practically all the time. Plus, I am older.
       
    13. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      They're not close to doing anything. ENTs aren't even as good as witch doctors. They're fucking useless. Probably the worst medical profession there is.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
      • Winner Winner x 1
    14. Tweedleman

      Tweedleman Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2001
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown/Noise
      Depends on your definition of close. Our first generation of regenerative medicine is on pace to be here in ~5 years. But I can understand that still feeling like a lifetime for a severe sufferer like you.
      The ENTs you speak of aren't the same people as the researchers developing regenerative medicine. Let's not conflate the two. ENTs may be the ones that will administer the treatments on the frontlines, but their profession has nothing to do with how far away researchers are from releasing their products. Although I do agree with you that ENTs are mostly useless when it comes to hearing problems. Researchers, however, are so far ahead of the game. They've got drugs in clinical trials to treat cochlear synaptopathy, a condition which hasn't even been naturalized into the ENTs diagnostic textbook.
       
      • Agree Agree x 3
    15. bobvann
      Devilish

      bobvann Member

      Location:
      Inside the vortex
      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      E drums headphones
      I feel like a coward when I see this:



      Whining about drumming making my ears hurt. Goes to show *&&%$ tinnitus.
       
    16. Harley

      Harley Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown
      Your feelings of cowardice are completely misplaced and might be the result of of the victim shaming that tinnitus sufferers are all too familiar with.
      What you have is likely the most horrid condition a human being can get, as we are not really designed for this type of torture.

      That guy may not have his arm, but I bet you he can relax and sleep like a baby, where he wakes up refreshed the next day, ready to face any new challenges.

      If he (or anyone else for that matter) had on average 2 hour sleep per night (if you can even call it that) due to screaming tinnitus every single day with no relief and no hope of getting better, I can guarantee you that he would not be sitting behind that drum set (or really doing much of anything).

      I would gladly trade him my arm for my tinnitus.
      I would even throw in a leg, if I had to.
      Then I could spend the rest of my life in peace, reading, writing, socializing, enjoying beautiful sunsets, listening to music, or feeding ducks by the pond, without screeching metal factory inside my head wrecking all of it.
      Not to mention collecting some form of disability would be quite easy, compared to Tinnitus, where you get none.

      It's not cowardice you should be feeling.
      Personally, I would feel envy (as I do feel often, when seeing visibly disabled people, knowing I would happily take their place in a heartbeat, in exchange for silence).
       
      • Agree Agree x 8
    17. bobvann
      Devilish

      bobvann Member

      Location:
      Inside the vortex
      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      E drums headphones
      I know what you mean. I was just stating how fucked up this is. It is more then simply victim blaming / shaming.

      But hey! According to some out there it's just a benign sound that is driven by emotion. Rigghhhhhtt.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    18. FGG
      No Mood

      FGG Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Hall of Fame Advocate

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Multi-factorial
      Society definitely likes to victim blame "invisible" illness more. Perhaps because people can't be as readily called out on their lack of empathy.

      I would cut off both of my own legs myself if it would heal my ears and I would happily "bootstrap" my way into a peaceful and productive life afterward.

      Losing a limb is profoundly effecting no doubt but it doesn't involve a constant assault on your senses unless you have severe phantom limb pain.
       
      • Agree Agree x 4
      • Like Like x 1
    19. DaveFromChicago

      DaveFromChicago Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Headcold/Flu
      To FGG:
      Once again, very insightful. For decades, Medical Science also essentially ignored headaches (even severe and Migraine) because they too were "invisible." It was only until there were so many suicides from Migraines that real research was conducted. It seems as if there is a cruelly, stupid assumption that a condition does not actually exist unless it will physically manifest itself.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    20. FGG
      No Mood

      FGG Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Hall of Fame Advocate

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Multi-factorial
      Agree. It's sick and very pervasive. There was a time when fibromyalgia was literally called the "yuppie flu."

      I can't tell you how many "well you don't look anxious and depressed..." I have gotten.
       
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    21. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      People have different ears and different conditions of their ears.

      Is regenerative medicine going to treat them all? Will it even affect tinnitus? What about hyperacusis or ear pain? You seem overly positive and optimistic based on what? I don't know of any information out there to support this optimism and you are right, the time frame doesn't help at all. Five years, ten years, it's all like never to me. Pure fiction. :-(
       
      • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
    22. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      I'm trying to get out in a week or two.

      LET NO ONE SAY MY SUICIDE IS NOT JUSTIED.
       
      • Hug Hug x 4
    23. MrCrybaby

      MrCrybaby Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2014, 10/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      School Band, Acoustic Trauma
      It’s tempting to think your ears are an extra special edge case that will simply not be helped, but that’s very unlikely. By regenerating the ears lots of bad brain plasticity will like be reversed (central gain) which has a ripple effect on things like middle ear muscle behaviour (hyperactivity is believed to irritate the trigeminal nerve leading to face pain) and perceived sound loudness and maybe even tinnitus. We, unfortunately need to wait for the second phase results from FX 322 to get an answer on if things work as hypothesized.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    24. linearb
      Psychedelic

      linearb Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      temporarily banished from this plane of existence.
      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      karma
      who cares if it's justified or not?

      If you kill yourself, I could easily spend the next five years saying mean shit about you on here. Why would that possibly matter to you?
       
      • Good Question Good Question x 1
    25. linearb
      Psychedelic

      linearb Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      temporarily banished from this plane of existence.
      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      karma
      Yes.

      Hell no.
      no one knows
      people know this even less.
      Unbridled, unwarranted pessimism. I'm 20 years in; if you told me I'd be cured in 10 I'd say "neat, I'm 2/3 there!"
      Untrue, multiple things being tested in live humans as we speak, with more things in various points in the pre-human clinical phases.

      Did you ever have a response to the long post I wrote, Pete? You said something about trying to reply when you were in a better state of mind, IIRC
       
      • Like Like x 2
    26. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      These anti suicide groups are dominated with PSYCHOLOGIST and they don't think about health problems, just mental ones. They can always address poor behavior caused by shit health, and act like the behavior is all that matters.

      Just remember, we aren't the only ones getting clowned on by elite NIH funded psychologist
      upload_2020-3-20_11-46-53.png

      upload_2020-3-20_11-47-9.png
       
      • Like Like x 2
    27. linearb
      Psychedelic

      linearb Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      temporarily banished from this plane of existence.
      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      karma
      [citations needed]

      also you are making some kind of cartesian split between "mind" and "body, nerves, brain" when in fact no such thing exits; "mind" is simply a reflection of the state "body, nerves, and brain" are in. Also that is a two way street, there's a wealth of data showing how conscious behavior influences neurological change I am not sure why people find that idea so hard to grasp when a hundred papers have been published on it in the last ten years and there are a number of great books summarizing it, including Selfless Insight, written by a PhD neurologist.

      I dunno what your point is dude. If you wanna end yourself, no one is stopping you.

      If you're wondering why the "anti suicide" crowd seems so much louder than the "pro suicide" crowd, I would humbly suggest that you just use logic to parse that. People who are legitimately "pro suicide" are a lot less likely to be here with us than people who are not in favor of ending themselves. This is not a conspiracy.
       
      • Agree Agree x 2
      • Funny Funny x 1
    28. Christopher805

      Christopher805 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      May 2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Neomycin
      NIH psychologist need to take behavioral therapy than maybe they would not make such ridiculous claims. Always what the patient is not doing.
       
    29. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      I'm not a dualist.

      I'm agnostic on panpsychism vs materialism. For matter to be experiencing anything in the first place it might have a subjective property.

      Our brains are suggesting all matter has both mental and physical properties. Look at David Chalmers explanation of panpsychism and how it doesn't contradict neurological models. Read more on consciousness studies
       
    30. Zugzug

      Zugzug Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown; Likely autoimmune; Certainly not noise-induced
      I have had chronic illness for 5 years; for most of that time, I have suffered debilitating pain. I could not begin to explain how many doctors immediately jumped to psychology -- probably 25 out of the 30 doctors I saw. I've had autoimmune diseases (almost surely the cause of my life-altering hyperacusis), fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, etc. floated around. But there's been such an emphasis on mental health, when in actuality, my flare ups go way beyond stressful times.

      It's sad how much respect I've lost for the field. I used to LOVE psychology; I've even checked myself in for CBT in the past. I'm a strong believer in it for mental health problems.

      But chronic illness has nothing to do with this field. I currently can't talk, leave my house, work, shower in peace, sleep well, type on a keyboard without earplugs and earmuffs, etc. I wonder why I have mental illness and unspeakable levels of depression. Hmmmm....it's probably because of my attitude.

      Also, while the "chase for a cure" or the "chase for the right supplement combo" may be a waste of time, it sure as hell feels a lot better than "picture this being the rest of our life. Let's get used to it." The whole "get used to it" and "habituate" is excellent advice for someone with mental health problems. The working assumption, though, when you say this to someone with life-altering levels of torture is that they have a good life. If they were to flip places, they would get how insulting it is.

      The ironic part is that it actually diminishes mental health problems as well. There are people who are perfectly healthy, but have such severe mental illness that they can't leave their bed. It's such an insult to their depression to say that I'm like them. I was a dominant Ph.D. student, ambitious, pretty happy, etc. before this. No, I don't know what it's like to have life going well for me and feel nothing inside. It is a different medical problem. It's time we stop getting in the way of everyone getting the help that they need.
       
      • Winner Winner x 9
      • Agree Agree x 2

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