Suicidal

Discussion in 'Support' started by jeremy06, Oct 14, 2018.

    1. Greg Sacramento

      Greg Sacramento Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      syringing and now somatic T dental work
      @Chinmoku Have you had blood work for immunity to determine a viral infection? The development of a cold from a sinus infection or Eustachian tube malfunction can cause inflammation of the mucous glands, middle ear pressure and if not treated - internal sounds. Tinnitus from this can improve or get resolved in time.
       
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    2. Chinmoku

      Chinmoku Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown, possibly medication
      @Greg Sacramento, in fact one of the blood tests had positive otoblot antigen results. This would be potentially associated with autoimmune ear disease. We tried antiviral and steroid medication to no avail. Of the three specialist I saw one prescribed the medications, while the other two said that the stability of my hearing seemed to exclude autoimmune ear disease. My eustachian tubes were observed with a camera and were found clean.
       
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    3. linearb
      Psychedelic

      linearb Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      temporarily banished from this plane of existence.
      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      karma
      I just remembered Pete has me blocked and will read none of that :cat::cat::cat::cat:

      hopefully someone finds it useful.
       
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    4. GregCA
      Jaded

      GregCA Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Otosclerosis
      I think the bent hairs s/he saw through the otoscope weren't from your inner ear...
       
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    5. xyz

      xyz Member

      Location:
      Germany
      Tinnitus Since:
      2006
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Too high blood pressure
    6. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      I don't have you blocked.

      But, it might take me a while for a direct reply. My left ear is in a lot of pain again. It was much better for several days until today. I think it was a noise but not certain what. I think it was a noise inside my apartment. It is so frustrating when normal sounds can produce pain in my ear but I don't know what noise it will be. Applying ice isn't helping much.
       
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    7. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      If you get pain in and/or around your ear, how long does it last for you?

      Is this pain hyperacusis? My pain lasts any amount of time from a few days to what seems like a week or weeks. Left ear 99% of the time and pain is in the ear canal area but also goes elsewhere in the ear area especially just below and behind where the bone is - temporal bone, maybe?

      I am posting this but it's harder to concentrate. It's bad enough from the loud tinnitus. I am just sick and tired of the pain coming all the time and is the only thing I have some control over and yet, I really don't.
       
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    8. serendipity1996

      serendipity1996 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown but suspect noise-induced
    9. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member

      Location:
      Toronto, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      Yes, pain hyperacusis, I get that too from any unexpected jarring noise.
       
    10. Orions Pain
      Surrender

      Orions Pain Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise damage
      Each time I have a good day, I'm reminded of my limitations. Tinnitus & hyperacusis are absolute torture. Being in discomfort 24/7, living in fear of any sort of noise making it worse, the feelings of isolation, and absolutely no help from doctors nor support from family with friends. I can't believe something like this exists. This is inhumane.
       
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    11. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      Welcome to reality where tons of horrifying diseases get buried in the attic and thrown under the rug.
       
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    12. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      When? When does the pain start? For how long?
       
    13. linearb
      Psychedelic

      linearb Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      temporarily banished from this plane of existence.
      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      karma
      I am very sorry to hear that :(

      I get pain like this, sometimes quite debilitating. It's usually a constant dull pain, with shooting pain tthat can make me wince, and often my hearing seems "muffled".

      For me sleeping with s ($1700 lol America) bit splint has made a HUGE difference.

      Is your pain in direct response to noise? If so, that sounds like hyperacusis. If not, it sounds like TMJ pain, which can be debilitating all by itself. (When my TMJ was worse, my jaw would painfully dislocate sometimes, sending intense pain and ringing to the ear on that side)
       
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    14. Orions Pain
      Surrender

      Orions Pain Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise damage
      There’s a huge difference between living and just being alive. Not sure how much longer I’ll be doing the latter
       
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    15. RishRamsey
      Doubtful

      RishRamsey Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stupid DJ
      Is it possible to import benzos from Asia, to somewhere in Asia? It's because my government has put these drugs under price control and all the drug manufacturers have made a cartel and stopped producing it. My stupid government just puts the drugs under price control without ensuring the future availability of drugs.

      These are essential drugs and that's why they are put under price control.
       
    16. RishRamsey
      Doubtful

      RishRamsey Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stupid DJ
      Are you still going to your job? That's one of the very very few things that keeps me going - while I know that going out in traffic is only going to worsen me, I can't really stop doing my job.
      But today it's really getting me down, haven't removed my ear muffs all day today in home :(
       
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    17. RishRamsey
      Doubtful

      RishRamsey Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stupid DJ
      For pain hyperacusis, the pain is instant, like a stabbing sensation deep inside the ear canal/eardrum. Then after that pain, the dull lingering pain around the ear/jaws start.
      Some of the most common sounds - horns of any kind, metal on metal, cutlery, glass, laughing near the ear, talking a bit over normal convo levels, any other high pitch sound!
       
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    18. Orions Pain
      Surrender

      Orions Pain Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise damage
      Yes, it’s the only thing keeping me sane right now. Also I wouldn’t be able to afford my apartment without working, and with all the coronavirus stuff there’s no way I’d be able to find someone to take over my spot.

      Will probably end up moving home at some point within these next few weeks-months.
       
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    19. Orions Pain
      Surrender

      Orions Pain Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise damage
      The most frustrating thing is no one believes you. My parents don’t believe me. My friends and coworkers don’t believe me. The only people that believe me are you guys.

      My parents refuse to listen to me until I get a diagnosis, but how am I supposed to do that? I’ve already seen a ton of doctors. I am frustrated beyond belief.
       
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    20. Harley

      Harley Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown
      What do they mean by diagnosis?
      You have tinnitus.
      They can look up the fact that there is no cure or a treatment for this horrid condition themselves with a quick online search.

      I wish all the non-believers would get severe tinnitus for at least a month straight.
      Having to constantly try and prove something is a curse of the invisible condition.

      This is part of the reason why I would rather have no legs.
      At least I wouldn't have to keep explaining.
       
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    21. Orions Pain
      Surrender

      Orions Pain Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise damage
      I’m more so referring to hyperacusis.

      Also tinnitus itself is a symptom, so I’m talking about getting a diagnosis for the actual issue. If it’s from acoustic trauma it’s pretty much impossible especially if you don’t have detectable hearing loss. They can’t test for tinnitus, it’s all based on your word. Same with Hyperacusis - other than testing ldls they can’t do anything else
       
    22. Harley

      Harley Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown
      Ok I see now.
      The problem is there are literally 1000 different things which could cause tinnitus, so a 100% sure diagnosis is literally next to impossible.

      Everything comes down to an educated guess.

      You could spend the next 100 years in the waiting rooms at various clinics, running different tests and still not find out what caused it.

      Most people will simply never know.

      Also, most hearing tests are done only up to 8000 Hz, so if your tinnitus is in higher range (which in most cases it is), it will not reveal anything unusual.
      If we are in dark ages in regards to tinnitus, we are in stone age in regards to hyperacusis.
       
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    23. Kriszti

      Kriszti Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016/2017/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      I know it's not nice and I wouldn't wish this on anyone for real permanently, but I would make the non-believers have tinnitus for a month without them actually knowing that it's "only" for a month. They'd be much more understanding.

      Also, the newest sound irritates me so much. It's a cross between doves cooing, and an ambulance, but more vibrating. It's rhythmic and currently I find it even harder to deal with it than the constant high pitched flexing. Why do new sounds come from nowhere...
       
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    24. Orions Pain
      Surrender

      Orions Pain Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise damage
      Yes, I completely understand this. My parents do not. I could care less about a diagnosis, I know what I am feeling/experiencing and there’s nothing that doctors can do to alleviate it. This is the only reason why I believe others come on here saying other *more serious* disorders would be better because at least then people around you are understanding.
       
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    25. Orions Pain
      Surrender

      Orions Pain Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise damage
      Clapping and dogs barking kill me.
       
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    26. DaveFromChicago

      DaveFromChicago Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Headcold/Flu
      To Orions Pain:

      Harley is entirely correct regarding how mysteriously this condition manifests itself.
      I never exposed myself to loud music or noise, and I had an MRI (that cost $4,000.00.)
      My ENT Doctor said that it revealed no indication of organ damage.
      I will spend the rest of my life without any semblance of an answer about why I have this.
      I am on my seventh year with this, and I feel like Lee at Appomattox.
      I am surrounded with no recourse for an escape or even a holding strategy.
      I recently had an examination at my Optometrist's, and to cover my tinnitus I had to ramp up the amplification of my hearing aids so much that the ceiling heating system's high pitched sound was as loud as my natural tinnitus. This became so invasive that I had to steel myself to
      not literally bolt out to the street.
      This Virus has virtually paralyzed travel, and reduced my 401k. I found myself actually, gladly welcoming this;
      "Now" I said, "my wife will not be able to order me to go anywhere that will activate my tinnitus as a gauntlet of torture."
      I now realize that with such regularly accepted thinking tinnitus has imbued me with a species of galling insanity; every consideration of activity must take into account how much tinnitus will interfere with it.

      I have on several occasions played Acute's 11/16/19 download with that sound that resembles her tinnitus.
      I have had that type and severity of sound in a few instances; it feels as if my tinnitus has melted down some portion of my brain to the extent that Plutonium melted down Chernobyl.
      My wife keeps insisting that I see a CBT Practitioner, and is infuriated when I respond with a look of contemptuous disdain (imagine the bad faith involved in seeing a Julian Cowan Hill or a Jastreboff.)
      I have a real sense of approaching horror that being limited by this could finally lead to her announcement that she wants a divorce.
      You are compelled to ask yourself how much you will finally allow this condition to take from you.
       
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    27. Christopher805

      Christopher805 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      May 2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Neomycin
      There are several websites that allow people to hear the various tinnitus sounds. Let your parents and anyone else who does not believe it’s debilitating listen to it to see if they can tolerate the sound. Take two cell phones and place one next to each ear. See if they believe you then.
       
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    28. Christopher805

      Christopher805 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      May 2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Neomycin
      Your description of the meltdown of your brain is truly accurate. My wife who has been my support the last 10 months recently contracted a stomach bug. So she could not shop today. As bad as I felt with a bad back, a rotten stomach and tinnitus and hyperacusis I had no choice but to go shopping. It was not a good experience and sadly I could not wait to get home, which has now become my dreaded, dark dungeon. I, too, wonder when my wife will say she’s had enough or better yet I tell her I am tired of seeing her suffer as a result of watching me fall apart. Maybe I’ll serve her papers for divorce because no one deserves to see someone they love suffer so greatly and have nothing by way of lessening the suffering. Everyday is a struggle to stay a float. Some, if not all of us, will say what did I do to deserve this? With this condition, it gives you plenty of time to reflect on your life. Most of us, if not all of us, will conclude nothing warranted this condition. So WHY? The answer is we will never know. I guess the consolation is that it’s not fatal. However, I disagree while it’s not fatal it quells all your dreams and aspirations and forces you to see everyday how different your life has become. It teases you, it cruelly dangles what’s familiar and normal right in front of your eyes. It’s like being encased in a glass jar but you cannot touch, feel or hear anything except what’s in the jar. But you see your former reality.
       
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    29. MrCrybaby

      MrCrybaby Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2014, 10/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      School Band, Acoustic Trauma
      I feel like since getting tinnitus I can’t handle any of the emotional stressors of my life. I’m just a worthless shell of my former joyful self. I don’t think I’ll kill myself, but I really hope I die. My pain has improved a lot, but it’s still a constant dull throb that wears on me. The tinnitus has not let down since day 1 and probably never will. I don’t know, maybe I’m just having a hard night. I hope I can find a way to get my joy back somehow.
       
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    30. Tweedleman

      Tweedleman Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2001
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown/Noise
      Yes, not fatal but it's every bit as life threatening in a different sense, just like you've pointed out. All hearing disorders and impairments are absolutely wretched on the spirit.

      Hopefully researchers can eventually lead us to completely regenetating the inner ear so we can fix all of this horrible shit.
       
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