Suicidal

Discussion in 'Support' started by jeremy06, Oct 14, 2018.

    1. Kriszti

      Kriszti Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016/2017/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      My mind works in a very similar way. I know it's catastrophic thinking and nothing good comes from it, but I don't know how to change my thinking into something less damaging to my anxiety.
       
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    2. grate_biff
      Alone

      grate_biff Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Moss, Norway
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic trauma and or benzo withdrawal
      Thank you for telling your story with Lyrica. I´m sorry that it probably worsened your tinnitus. I have also heard it is even worse than benzos to come off. That in itself is really frightening.

      I´m currently corresponding with the hearing disorder expert here in Norway. Even though he believes in Jastreboff and TRT approach to our problem he is very knowledgeable and he has completely sold me the idea that noxacusis (pain hyperacusis) stems from problems/contractions with the tensor tympani muscle leading to irritation of the trigeminal nerve and ultimately the trigeminal cervical complex.
      Without too much elaboration it really fits with what I am experiencing and that developing noxacusis can be a long process to develop after an acoustic trauma, prolonged stress and being obsessively occupied by one´s tinnitus.
      I´m currently reading an article about it.
      I have strong hopes that will be the case, but as the time goes by the hope diminishes. At least I know where the "prolonged stress factor" is coming from and the withdrawal has worsened my condition for sure.
      Depends if the problem regarding my TTTS is reversible depending on the state of our nervous system. Could be! But I feel out of time here. I can´t take the pain anymore. Problem is to find a surgeon to do the procedure.
       
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    3. serendipity1996

      serendipity1996 Member Podcast Patron

      Tinnitus Since:
      2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown but suspect noise-induced
      Same - I recognise it's classic anxiety disorder thinking and I have been referred to CBT by my ENT but I just don't know how to overcome it on my own. I think the last time I was exposed to a fire drill was something like 3-4 years ago so it's clearly irrational. Have been feeling quite optimistic lately but I guess my brain just LOVES being tormented by anxiety.
       
    4. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      There are two known types of noxacusis. The cochlear nociceptors and the tympani.
       
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    5. xyz

      xyz Member

      Location:
      Germany
      Tinnitus Since:
      2006 mild T 2019 T worsening H onset
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown / probably noise induced
      Do you have a source for that? I would guess that this is interlinked. It starts off with some cochlear damage and after that the ear tries to protect itself from further damage so you get these ear muscle spasms.
       
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    6. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      search for "pain"
      https://hyperacusisfocus.org/innerear/
       
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    7. Kriszti

      Kriszti Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016/2017/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      I was told to go to a psychiatrist as well, but I really don't know how they could help me, because I'm not willing to take any medicine. In my mind, everything that I'm afraid of tinnitus-wise is very real and rational. The world seems like a minefield and I have to go through blindfolded. My dad tried to "reason with me" that he or anyone else in the world could develop severe tinnitus and therefore it's absolutely futile to worry beforehand, and I know that this is true, but the difference is that they may be able to imagine, but I know what it's like to have severe tinnitus and instead of being happy and optimistic that it's not that bad right now, I cannot not fear the future.

      I have been depressed and anxious for a long time, visited 3 therapists for other problems and up until now nothing has helped me.
       
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    8. serendipity1996

      serendipity1996 Member Podcast Patron

      Tinnitus Since:
      2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown but suspect noise-induced
      This is the thing with having hearing-damaged ears - there's a part of me that reckons I am actually being entirely rational because unfortunately for those of us afflicted with T and H these types of noise exposures can be potentially hazardous and lead to significant spiking or even worsening. Being pragmatic, there are constructive steps I could take e.g. ear protection, informing employers so you can know about fire drills in advance. Hell, there are even smoke detectors designed for deaf/hearing impaired people that rely on strobe lights and vibrations. But still the anxiety persists.

      I just don't think I could take the emotional rollercoaster that comes with a spike - the fear of worrying about whether it's permanent or not etc etc. It's just unbearable. Before I got tinnitus and hyperacusis, e.g. when I was younger and at school fire alarms obviously weren't something I worried about. Now it's like an entirely different ballgame.
      I'm also a bit worried I'll just get told that 'it can't damage you if it's X amount of decibels and under X minutes/hours' because that rule seems to go out of the window for those of us with already-damaged auditory systems so that's not much consolation.
       
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    9. Zugzug

      Zugzug Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown; Likely autoimmune; Certainly not noise-induced
      With all due respect, I don't think this totally portrays the picture correctly. People with tinnitus and hyperacusis are much more prone to setbacks. I'm not saying the sentiment of finding ways to live with the anxiety aren't valid, but there has to be a way to straddle the irrational and rationals fears here. They are not all irrational. It's not like the probability of getting a setback from a fire alarm just resets. The people that say that it does are typically fake tough guys with mild tinnitus and thinking they are so strong for overcoming it.
       
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    10. Backpacker

      Backpacker Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      SSHL
      Interesting stuff about inner ear disorders and injuries. I read some of these already. Hey @xyz, if you scroll to "Holes, Leaks and Fluid Regulation", you will see you and @Contrast posted some stuff from the same doctor.
       
    11. Kriszti

      Kriszti Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016/2017/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Yes, I know that we are cursed with a weakened auditory system unfortunately and people without it really can't fathom how sounds actually can hurt you. I think he just meant that other people can have tinnitus out of the blue the same way I got it.

      I really should do something about my anxiety, because it's getting out of hand. I'm vigilant about dangers, but I'm at the point that I can have a full blown anxiety attack when someone else is doing the dishes that some bowl may get dropped on the floor. When I'm not in that mindset, I'm aware that those fears are probably irrational.
      During lockdown, my baseline went down (with some very bad days, but on average it's better). The 1-2 hour long temporary spikes (reactive tinnitus?) after showering, being in the car and so on, remained at the same level, so the difference is even more perceivable and I'm very afraid that I'm on my way to develop phonophobia.

      (And I really don't mean to offend anyone who has it a lot worse than me with talking this much about my low-moderate tinnitus, but I guess the very loud buzzing which started all of this and the incapability of sleeping for months really messed me up. I'm not a very mentally strong person to begin with. )
       
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    12. xyz

      xyz Member

      Location:
      Germany
      Tinnitus Since:
      2006 mild T 2019 T worsening H onset
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown / probably noise induced
      Yes, seems there are some knowledgeable doctors on hyperacusis in Chicago.
       
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    13. Zugzug

      Zugzug Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown; Likely autoimmune; Certainly not noise-induced
      I honestly think most hyperacusis/tinnitus patients know they are developing phonophobia when they take precautions to limit the damage. But it's better than the alternative. This condition is so torturous that I would rather take few risks, but be able to comfortably sleep, watch TV, go for walks, than sit in a room with earplugs and earmuffs in, unable to move essentially.

      Of course, it should go without saying, that no one wants phonophobia either, as this is also has a massive quality-of-life impact. But I don't think the TRT doctors understand this from the patient's perspective. I don't think the typical patient is being totally irrational by avoiding certain sounds.

      It all sucks. The patient is just doing the best they can with the hand they were dealt. No one tells a paraplegic that they have a "fear of putting weight on their legs." Of course they do. It's called a shitty hand.
       
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    14. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      Oh okay, thanks for explaining. Sorry if it's self explanatory. My brain doesn't work anymore.

      My left ear dips as low as in between 40 and 50. My right ear dips between 20 and 30.
       
    15. serendipity1996

      serendipity1996 Member Podcast Patron

      Tinnitus Since:
      2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown but suspect noise-induced
      This is so true and I think often gets neglected when discussing how to deal with anxiety because you're often told it's irrational when I'd argue it's not wholly so. I mean, me worrying about very specific hypothetical scenarios that are unlikely to happen is irrational but for those of us with tinnitus/hyperacusis there's often a kernel of rationality at the core of these fears - if your auditory system is already damaged then of course stuff like fire alarms are going to pose more of a threat to you than for people with healthy ears.
       
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    16. bobvann
      Fiendish

      bobvann Member

      Location:
      Inside the vortex
      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      E drums headphones
      I run fire drills as part of my job... But my facility put in electronic chimes...
       
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    17. FGG
      No Mood

      FGG Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Hall of Fame Advocate

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Multi-factorial
      Those are well within the ranges drugs like FX-322 are addressing.
       
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    18. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      That's good.
       
    19. ASilverLight
      In pain

      ASilverLight Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      That's the question.
      My biggest issue are still the fact it changes so much + the fact that it's so audible over things, which I still find strange. It's not that loud in reality, and it doesn't get LOUDER around sound. It just doesn't drown out for some reason. I'm still having other weird symptoms and my cold hasn't eased up any bit since onset months ago.

      I still don't get how one can get such horrible tinnitus with no (measurable/notable) hearing loss or acoustic trauma around onset, and not that much loud noise exposure. I also don't have hyperacusis, for which I'm grateful, but again... don't understand with the severity of my tinnitus.
       
    20. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      We are the problem.

      Previous generations knew all doctors could do was stich up wounds and send them home. They learned to live with it. We the generation of entitled leftist are expecting a cure.

      From an outsiders perspective we are delusional crazies on a tinnitus forum.
       
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    21. MrCrybaby

      MrCrybaby Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2014, 10/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      School Band, Acoustic Trauma
      I disagree, I think that most people are so used to going to a doctor and getting a pill for their problems that they think it works that way for all health problems. Look at the opioid epidemic. The discourse was always “how nasty of these bad companies and bad doctors giving people these bad drugs” vs “how horrific that all these Americans are living with chronic incurable pain”. I suspect uninformed activists thought there was a good pill they could take instead.
       
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    22. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      Anytime a conference combines hyperacusis and misophonia that is a damning indication that it's Jastreboffian in nature. The Scientist who talk about hyperacusis don't bother tying it in with that.

      They are just doing their job. That's where the money is going.
       
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    23. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      How is a psychologist suppose to evolve into a biomedical researcher? Jastreboff's discipline is not suited to treat tinnitus. The best he could have done was continue sound therapy while realizing his limitation while other scientist did the work.

      The man views himself as the all knowing tinnitus expert when he's not.
       
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    24. Zugzug

      Zugzug Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown; Likely autoimmune; Certainly not noise-induced
      First of all, your opinion doesn't matter, as you are a crazy on a forum. Mental illness is why you care about biology.

      Secondly, I slightly disagree about Jastreboff. I think you underrate the importance of failures in science. I'm not a big fan of people on this forum being condescending towards researchers who are trying to help. Science is hard, and often requires hundreds, if not thousands of failures. Sometimes honest failures motivate successes down the road.

      Jastreboff could have been activist, insisting that he devoted his life to studying neural plasticity and came up pretty empty. He could have emphasized that veterans (and others) desperately need help. There was a way for Jastreboff to be a positive, but he blew it.
       
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    25. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      You don't realize my sense of humor. I insult myself and my way of thinking so I can learn from it.

      upload_2020-6-4_19-22-29.png
       
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    26. Backpacker

      Backpacker Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      SSHL
      Relax, we're all crazy, it's not a competition.
      Just to avoid any misunderstanding, I am not interested in reading about psychological issues "causing" or "contributing to" tinnitus or hyperacusis either, no matter who wrote the article.
      Timothy Hain, Chicago dizziness and balance (the guy from the link you and xyz posted) is much more knowledgeable than an average neurotologist. Most of the information from the link is about the actual disorders and injuries of the inner ear (that might cause auditory/ vestibular disturbances/ pain etc) that not every neurotologist, let alone ENT, is familiar with. You don't read very often about a doctor who knows how to recognise SSCD, CFD, PLF and other inner ear disorders/ injuries. I am not recommending any tests (tympanometry, VEMP etc) but reading articles from people like him can be useful for people who happen to have one of these disorders because most doctors just know how to say "MRI didn't show anything so it means you're OK" and people just keep going around not knowing what they have and not avoiding harmful activities and movements.
       
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    27. Bartoli

      Bartoli Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2009,worsened 2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Jastreboff is a neurologist. He's the first person that has established a tinnitus treatment center.
      For most neurologists, tinnitus wasn't on their radar. In a way, his views and commitment were ground-breaking.

      He paved the way for future research and the analogy of tinnitus as phantom pain as opposed to the theory of "damaged hair cells in the cochlea that are stuck in the ON-position" that was an established theory at the time.

      In my opinion, he hasn't done much updating since and seems reluctant to have his views challenged. There are some dogmatic principles that are flawed in my opinion (everyone can habituate, loudness doesn't matter,...)
      but when people do habituate, it's because of the habituation of reaction and perception. In a way, he acknowledged a phenomenon that happens in most tinnitus sufferers. I believe most people benefitting from TRT would've gone on to habituate without it as well, which is what a recent study implied. He may have kickstarted tinnitus research from a brain perspective, and also impeded it in later years. We can't say where we would've been if we take Jastreboff out of the equation.

      If tinnitus ever gets a good treatment or cure, I don't expect it to come from his direction. Name me one good song from the Rolling Stones from the last 3,5 decades. Same thing.
       
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    28. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      Give the devil his due.
       
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    29. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      They can only help you if you wanted to apply for disability.
       
    30. Zugzug

      Zugzug Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown; Likely autoimmune; Certainly not noise-induced
      haha, I was kidding, and feeding into Contrast's favorite joke, which is that people with severe chronic illness have invalid opinions because they are "crazy."

      In actuality, I'm probably one of the craziest on the forum.
       
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