Suicidal

Discussion in 'Support' started by jeremy06, Oct 14, 2018.

    1. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      The chronic pain community is farther behind in progress from the tinnitus community.

      They are begging for opioids and don't advocate much for the few trials on noiceptor blockers.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    2. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      Advocating for scientific research and disability rights are taboo topics.


      Half of the country is ashamed as stigmatized by it. There are people on this forum that view being disabled as extremely shameful.
       
      • Agree Agree x 3
    3. valeri

      valeri Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2011
      It’s not you, it’s the ignorant and clueless doctors whose ego is so big they can’t admit failure!
      Instead they grab onto the next obvious problem, passing the buck to someone else makes it look as if they helped you.

      They are an absolute joke!
       
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    4. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      I think opioids are okay until researchers and experts (?!?) can treat (cure!) the root of the problem.
       
      • Agree Agree x 3
    5. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      I am a big believer in drugs like opiates, CBD oil or whatever helps even if it's only a bit.

      Better than the alternatives.
       
    6. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      I don't know why people get mad at doctors, they just do whatever the money/NIH grants tell them to do. They are just following orders.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    7. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      To anyone who takes CBD oil or is informed about it:
      What ratio should one get?

      I read on here that question was answered but I forget. I want to try it and am really investigating it now. I am desperate to try something asap. I know it might not help (*me*) but I think it's worth a try.

      I appreciate any help.
       
    8. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      I don't think anyone cares if we commit suicide or have low quality of lives. They are only interested in fighting disability claims and preventing economic harm caused by us.
       
      • Agree Agree x 3
    9. Chinmoku

      Chinmoku Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown, possibly medication
      Are you referring to the THC/CBD ratio or to the concentration? You should try to avoid THC, that spikes tinnitus in many people. Other than that, CBD is biphasic, meaning that you need to find the correct dosage for you. Too little or too much will not work. I would start with a low concentration and slowly increase the dosage until you feel an effect.
      Unfortunately for me even CBD without THC spikes the tinnitus, I hope really you are more lucky. There is a thread on CBD in the forum.

      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/already-6-hours-tinnitus-free-with-cbd-oil.11281/
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    10. Zugzug

      Zugzug Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown; Likely autoimmune; Certainly not noise-induced
      I take liquid form, usually 15-30 mg.

      My advice: Start small. CBD is all about taking the right amount for your body. It tends to help with anxiety and pain. It may do nothing for the tinnitus, or even increase it.
       
    11. bobvann
      Fiendish

      bobvann Member

      Location:
      Inside the vortex
      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      E drums headphones
      Has not done much for me. Gave me adverse reaction last time I poured drops in my ears. I wrote about it on the topic.
       
      • Informative Informative x 1
    12. Juan

      Juan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Several causes
      That's why it is so hard to get disability based on hearing issues, and even in case there is a pension awarded the money is a pittance, impossible to live on that. There's just too many people with damaged ears and too much noise around that no government is interested in regulating or controlling.
       
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    13. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      I did find that thread but thanks.

      It sounds like "full spectrum" CBD is what most use here? 16 - 18mg/ml For CBD and 0-2mg THC, per dropper. 550-1000mg bottle is the minimum worth trying? The cheapest ones locally or local orders (within my country) is $65 to $100. Expensive stuff. :-(
       
    14. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      Thanks for the info. 15-30mg sounds like a lot, no? Do you have any examples of it at online vendors you could share? I'm just curious. Yeah, it sounds like it doesn't help people's tinnitus or if it ever does, it's really rare. Disappointed but I guess not altogether surprising. If it helps/helped with my ear pain, that would be something at least.
       
    15. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      Isn't it supposed to be orally taken? It's supposed to 'reach the brain' and supposedly tinnitus is affecting the brain (and the ears) or vice versa.
       
    16. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      Btw, my t is f***ing insane right now. As in volume and perceived numbers of tones. Again, it *seems* like the tones are external as well as internal. Does that make sense? I guess if a person with undamaged ears hears cicadas outside? That's kinda what it seems like to me but I know that's my defective brain/ears.

      My left ear is in a lot of pain too. Is there ever going to be a leak of info regarding the research trials or anything? I f***ing hate each waking day.
       
      • Agree Agree x 3
    17. bobvann
      Fiendish

      bobvann Member

      Location:
      Inside the vortex
      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      E drums headphones
      I do still take it orally as well. Like I said nothing special.
       
    18. Orions Pain
      Dreaming

      Orions Pain Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music
      I got a full spectrum one, 50 mg/ml. Doesn’t do much of anything for me to be honest. Got it from a reputable company too. There are websites which will advise how much is a good amount to take based on your height and weight.

      In general you want to stick to reputable brands that publish lab reports and make sure the mg/ml are only for CBD. Often companies use fillers like hemp oil and count them into the mg’s making it seem stronger that what you’re buying.

      I’d say don’t do full spectrum if you have tinnitus concerns. The THC content is minuscule but not worth the risk.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    19. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
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    20. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      Sonus Complete might be getting sued by an audiology clinic. I gave them their info to see they'll do.

      I'd be nice if I can watch a second ecommerce scam burn to the ground. It's amazing how when people speak up things happen.
       
    21. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      I really enjoyed this community. It was fucking awesome getting to be the bad boy on the tinnitus forum.
       
      • Like Like x 4
    22. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      I want to stay alive here to watch Sonus Complete burn.


      They are going to burn. While the normies go about their day jobs and normie things I watch scammers burn to the ground.
       
      • Like Like x 2
    23. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
    24. Johan001

      Johan001 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Medication
      Hi all,

      I am very sorry to disturb you with another post like this, but I just can't let go of the suicidal thoughts 24/7.

      I have tinnitus in my right ear combined with the clock sound in my head. The tinnitus is 2 fold: a cricket sound and a high pitch noise, but it is not as much in the ear as it feels like it is in the head.

      I have tried so far:

      - ENT visits + Betaserc
      - neurologist visit + Amitriptyline for sleep (little to no help)
      - ginkgo, magnesium, various calming pills, CBD oil
      - melatonin (no help)
      - zopiclone (does help to sleep)

      Got mirtazapine prescribed, but terrified at the possibility of side effects.

      My tinnitus is self induced. Every second I dream to go back in time trying to revert this horror.

      I am thinking about taking my life 24/7. Feeling extremely restless all the time.

      I am afraid to kill myself either, as I do not know what will happen afterwards and I do not want my loved ones to suffer.

      I'm 3 weeks into this. My harm is caused by viagra and stress. I'm convinced that it made some damage to my brain and that this is the cause of my tinnitus and the clock sound. I'm terrified it is permanent.

      I'm begging you for any reassurance you can give me. I'm so exhausted and planning to hang myself soon.

      Please, anyone who's been through this, can you please help me.
       
      • Hug Hug x 4
    25. Kriszti

      Kriszti Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016/2017/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      I'm really sorry that you're going through this. I guess, that most of us been there.

      Tinnitus in the first months are an unbelievable torture and induces a flight or fight mode 24/7. But you are very early in (I know you don't feel like it, I didn't either when I was sleeping 1-3 hours a night in pieces), there are a very good chance that your symptoms will lessen and you don't end up hearing these sounds that you are currently hearing. You need to keep holding on. When this started I was suicidal just as you 24/7, looking up methods, mentally preparing suicide notes. Not gonna lie, I still have those feelings (Apparently I'm still in this thread...), but to a much, much lesser degree. Now sometimes I have good days and bad ones. You need to give it time.

      If the other option is suicide, I would try the mirtazipine, you need to calm down as much as possible, and what I deem to be the most important, sleep. I wasn't sleeping for around 5 months and it was beyond horrible, I still don't know how I survived that period, but somehow after having tried everything, it got better.

      Stop blaming yourself, it's not your fault and it's futile.

      I didn't have the clock sound, but I had constant thumping in my ear and vibrating and so on, this terminated when my overall mood improved.

      Please, try to hold on.
       
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    26. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      Is there any information from Frequency Therapeutics FX-322 that outlines how it will (or could?) help tinnitus sufferers? Or is it just a pipe dream? I guess I should check out the related section but I bet a lot of people either participating or following this thread is desperate for a real treatment that can significantly improve (reduce) tinnitus volume and severity.
       
    27. Stan M

      Stan M Member

      Location:
      Colorado, USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      02/06/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      I wish I knew
      I have not written since 1/29/2020 on here. I rarely look on here anymore. I just don't want to concentrate on it, because then it seems louder for a few days. Some where around then I was talking to a guy that had a bull dance on his skull, and got tinnitus. He said it was just another noise in his head. He had had this many years.

      For a few months I have been sleeping. I have been as happy as I was before T. It just became a part of my everyday life somehow. Ya, it bugs me, but so does getting older (65 now). I don't have to push to do things anymore, I'm not suicidal. Life is back to normal in most respects. I even crank up the radio at times. (mine did not come from sound, it just came out of the blue 2/06/2019). I try and not focus on the bad parts, nothing I can do anyway. Maybe it was learning meditation, which I now rarely do. But in meditation the goal seems to be to meditate whether or not you have intrusive thoughts, in fact the intrusive thoughts are part of it. There, you have a thought, and you just let it go, don't focus on it, don't feed it, let it be. My tinnitus is there 24 7, and loud. I went to a free consultation for tinnitus. Went back a few times. The hearing aid instrument board certified tech said she had been doing this for 8 years, and mine was the worst. Finally I am number 1 in something. I hear it above everything, all the time. (I did not buy hearing aids, I did not get a sound generator, why would I want another noise in my head?)

      All I can say is try to live with it for a while. It probably will not go away, but it may become normal for you, just another noise in your head.

      Peace.
       
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    28. serendipity1996

      serendipity1996 Member Podcast Patron

      Tinnitus Since:
      2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown but suspect noise-induced
      If it's any consolation I am on Mirtazapine and it helped me tremendously with sleeping and overall depression/anxiety improved too. I haven't suffered any side effects and I think it is generally considered to be very low risk in terms of ototoxicity. I'm just going to echo the advice others have given you - please hang on. I suffered a setback at the end of last year and it was hellish for a good 2-3 months constant suicidal ideation and hopelessness. Fast forward another 3-4 months and I am 90% recovered. I know how soul-crushing it can feel when you're in the thick of it but the chances are it will get vastly better. A day at a time.
       
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    29. Johan001

      Johan001 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Medication
      Thank you. I have just taken 7.5mg of mirtazapine and waiting. I hope it'll do something.

      I have had such a great life and now everything is shattered. I feel like I will have to pull the plug soon, but my loved ones will be deeply hurt.

      I so much want to hope I will get better. I'm afraid that I have a permanent damage and it will just stay like that.
       
      • Hug Hug x 3
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    30. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      Still wondering why tones suddenly go more insane than usual. I mean, with no apparent cause. It's worse when one ear is in severe pain and I can't get opioids for it.
       

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