Suicidal

Noise trauma a week later seems pretty farfetched.

How long ago did you have the vaccine?

Maybe a low dose of steroids is in order? At the least nuking it with Zopiclone for a while is possible too.

 

If you find it hard to believe, I'd suggest you to check news about long COVID-19 and the myriad of symptoms and disfunctions it can cause in a human body. I'm almost certain that it's the cause of your issues and also probably triggered an autoimmune disorder as well.

 

It's been about two months now since I had the vaccine. Every time I take steroids I seem to find something new after I've come off them, though they do calm things down while I'm on them. I've been trying to live life fairly normally, run errands, go to my kid's soccer games, etc. I always wear ear plugs.

I've never heard of Zopiclone. How does that affect tinnitus?

 

It's basically a benzo, but I've found, if taken right when a new tone occurs, it can zap it out of existence.

Quiets things down otherwise.

 

A quick Google search says it's not available in the US.

Looks like we have access to Eszopiclone (Lunesta). Not sure how related the two are.

 

It's the same drug. Twice as potent.

 

In your experience, how soon does one need to take this to have any possible effect?

My appointment with an otolaryngologist isn't until end of July and I would need a good reason to ask for it. I'm already planning on bringing up some other drugs to tr.. Low Dose Nortriptyline and maybe even take a stab seeing what the doctor thinks of Low Dose Naltrexone. I'm at the stage where I'm just going to throw everything at it.

 

It's symptom control only, it won't help fix the underlying issue causing the tinnitus like inflammation, immune reaction, hydrops, etc.

It is just like benzos (and is one in mechanism), so when it makes you sleepy it's working (within 30-60 minutes for me). If you've never had benzos, 2 mg will put you out hard and is the most I'd try in order to "silence it".

7-10 mg would be more than sufficient to see if it works or not. Above 10 mg gets dangerous.

For me it worked dramatically well in the beginning. Got some strange side effects from being on it too long.

I don't think my tinnitus is caused by it at all. Zopiclone makes it quieter, if I'm lucky, it makes it like static. In the beginning I could listen to it slowly make tones fade out until I'd hear a loud ZAP and then silence.

And if anything, on it I can hear better, not worse. So beats me as to what the F is going on.

 

Yesterday was the first time I fully accepted my inevitable suicide as the only mean to end this unimaginable suffering I'm enduring.

I'm still shocked that health and life in general can deteriorate so fast when you are only 21 but that's my kind of luck.

Took care of the letter and the final arrangements, this week will definitely be the last.

 

I hope that's the case for me. I'm having an awful spike.
I have had big spikes in the past that eventually settled, but that spikes were mostly a high-pitched new tone or my usual hiss turning into a solid tone.
This one is different, is my "classic" tone that was my only easily-masked sound (I have lots of sounds) that has ramped up, sounds worse (from pure tone to broken sound) and now it's above a lot of things like voices, TV, etc.
I could live with a very high pitched hiss in both ears above everything in the past, but this is by far the worst spike I have had, and now I'm feeling awful. If this doesn't go down, I don't know what I'll do. Sadly I don't think I can live with this.

 

Hey man, I'm really sorry that this horrible disease has put you in a position where ending things is the only way to find relief... All I can say is get a hold of Ketamine if you can and go into a last trip before saying goodbye just in case something good comes out of it.

Oh and please make sure everyone knows the reason you did it was tinnitus & distortions instead of depression or any other BS.

 

My tinnitus has been getting worse to the point that I have a hard time sleeping enough and performing at my job. Although I have been suicidal lots of times in my life due to my C-PTSD, I never really wanted to kill my self. I just can't imagine taking the final action that would end my life and not immediately regretting it.

It's the finality of suicide and the uncertainty about what comes afterwards that prevents me from doing it. I used to be a hard atheist before therapy, but through therapy accompanied with psychedelics I was lucky enough have some transcendental experiences that felt very divine. I was able to feel peace and love at such an intensity that I had never experienced before. I also gained some insights about the nature of the universe that may indicate that there is indeed an afterlife. Still I'm skeptical, as it could have all been just in my head, but it changed me from atheistic to agnostic. I certainly wouldn't end my life in hopes of attaining that peace.

Despite tinnitus getting more and more annoying by the day and taking away many things that I used to do, I still enjoy being alive and being able to experience things. That's the bittersweet irony for me. I used to be very suicidal before I started treatment for C-PTSD. And through therapy and more particular video-editing, I gained both a resilience towards suffering and the agony that is tinnitus, as I think listening to headphones too much and having to process painful memories that used to be hidden in my subconscious are both causes of my tinnitus. My therapist still thinks that my tinnitus is just a symptom that it might go away in the future. I hope that is the case, as I want to experience the peace that comes with total silence again.

I've been reading about a lot of heartbreaking stories in this thread and the overwhelming majority it's about people who had their normal successful life ripped away from them. For me it's almost the opposite. I already lived an abnormal life due to my C-PTSD, and while I do hate the constant ringing and hope that it will go away, at this point it's more like a step upwards. A sign that I can handle suffering. One of my fears before starting therapy was that I would be punished for trying to improve my life and now that I am suffering from tinnitus, I could have easily fallen into this thought pattern. But instead I see it as something that just happened, even though the tinnitus itself is annoying.

 

Hey,

I've had ear pain, jaw pain and constant fullness for almost a year now. Brought on by 2 seconds of high pitched noise from my idiot brother's car and maybe made worse by Valsalva maneuver.

I've kept going with the hope it would all subside but it hasn't. I enjoy nothing in life anymore.

At the moment I stay alive for my kids but I don't know how much longer I can do that for.

This morning I woke up filled with anxiety and and suicidal ideation.

I just can't see how I can live with this for another possibly 50 years.

I've sat watching my kids play and trying to decide if tonight should be the night I do it and escape this misery.

Shaun

 

My friend, you are sitting on a lupus diagnosis, from the sounds of it. How do you know how much is irreversible without treatment? The blood marker you are positive for is not common.

 

Is there any way you would try any alternative therapy? That has nothing to do with the actual Western medicine? Like bioenergy/pranotherapy? You have nothing to lose. People improve sometimes and it can't make you worse.

 

Rant:
All the talks about the parliament and the government being the voice of the people is pure bullshit.

Everytime a newspaper has asked people about VAD in my country, the majority says they're for it, but when a member of the parliament writes a motion/suggestion about VAD, the small pre-parliament voting group never passes the motion/suggestion to the parliament, and just throws it in the bin.

I am in f*cking agony, but the government is all about keeping people alive, despite suffering not just psychologically, but physically. People who can't function, who are just breathing through tubes, and can't do shit. People who are being tortured through constant noise, which stops them from sleeping and functioning. I'm 28 and I don't have a life anymore cause of my shit genes. I rarely blast music, I didn't have anything in my ears most of the days, yet I don't have a f*cking life anymore.

A psychiatrist won't help me. I don't have tinnitus cause I'm depressed, I'm depressed because I have tinnitus. "It's just noise, it won't kill you." Yet, people are bitching about mosquitos keeping them awake, so they can't sleep. Imagine having a mosquito which is always there, but you can't kill it.

The noise is racing with other noises, along with TTTS. It's like a filter. This is bullshit. I went from having perfect hearing to full blast reactive tinnitus from f*cking nothing. And yes, I've tried everything. Chiropractic, relaxing, supplements, cleaning the ears etc.

 

I made sure to point out the reason for my suicide several times in the letter - the severe tinnitus and hearing problems (and other physical problems that started after the ear problems, like a snowball effect). I also wrote that I don't forgive my family for belittling my problems and blaming it on my mental state.

I'm waiting for a diagnosis but nonetheless I also have some irreversible physical damage alongside the ear problems which are the most debilitating. I'm just too far gone sadly.

 

But how do you actually know it's irreversible? You are relatively early on into what appears to be a lupus diagnosis. BTW, were you tested for ANA, SSA, SSB? If you have positive ANA and positive anti-dsDNA, I could practically diagnose you with lupus.

 

Some of the conditions don't seem to result from lupus. I'm waiting for the ANA results to confirm diagnosis. I probably will have an answer later in the week.

 

What’s irreversible if I may ask? I hate to see this...

 

Exclusion criteria from FX-322 Phase 2a:


Exclusion criteria from PIPE-505:


My point is that this stuff happens. I would be very slow to rule out lupus causing the hearing issues.

 

@Zugzug is right. I’ve been saying this for a while that @roy1159 seems like he has some sort of autoimmune issue and I guess the tests suggest lupus. While I’m sure there is some permanent damage, you really don’t know what is reversible until you treat it. You are very young and have a good chance that your condition can get much better. I would still suggest trying LDN as it regulates immune function and inflammation and has been proven to treat many autoimmune conditions. @roy1159 you owe it to yourself to exhaust all possible treatments before making a final decision. Try the LDN, maybe steroids, maybe Ketamine, you have to try everything before you are sure that things can’t get better.

 

Chronic neuropathy in the limbs (they are still unsure of the cause), permanent cartilage damage in both knees due to an unfortunate accident that is basically leaving me disabled for the long term, there are some other chronic conditions which I won't disclose. Like being basically deaf apart from 1-on-1 conversations and having severe tinnitus wasn't enough.

 

I’m sorry man, I wish modern medicine had an answer

 

No one here is qualified to criticize your decisions or tell you how you should feel. Even though many people here share similar symptoms, we all carry them differently and our mental capacity to handle pain is different. Without a doubt you have been living in hell for sometime now and I feel very sorry that you are experiencing all this, especially at such a young age.

I want to give you some hope though. Your symptoms all seem to be related and autoimmune in nature. Even though it seems like these are chronic and incurable, the right treatment could drastically change this for you. You’re in a dark place right now and no one can blame you for that but if you give yourself the opportunity to get to the bottom of this, you can heal. Neuropathy isn’t always permanent and it can be treated especially in younger people. Your cartilage damage is likely permanent but it doesn’t mean that it’s not treatable as well. You will never be a professional soccer player but these treatments can give you back standard mobility and usage.

May I ask if the unfortunate accident happened prior to the neuropathy and ear issues? It’s possible that the event triggered an autoimmune response which has caused all of these other chronic issues. It could be lupus, it could be GBS, it could be a variety of autoimmune diseases but the good news is they are mostly treatable. Believe it or not, you have age on your side so I strongly suggest to give this a chance and explore your options for getting better. LDN, IVIG, high dose Thiamine (B1), Gabapentin, etc. It may be a combination of drugs therapies that you need but something could very well work for you. B1 is a simple one, you could try that to start, 300 mg a day and see how you feel after a week. Also, there are treatments for autoimmune that target the vagus nerve, tVNS, this is something to look at as well.

I wish you all the luck and hope that you can take my advice to give this a chance.

 

Tinnitus control by dopamine agonist pramipexole in presbycusis patients: a randomized, placebo-controlled, double-blind study

Consider trying this before you kill yourself, it's helped prolong my life thus far.

Methods: Forty presbycusis patients aged 50 years or older with subjective tinnitus were randomized to two groups (20 patients in both). Patients in the drug group took pramipexole over a period of 4 weeks according to a treatment schedule as follows: week 1, 0.088 mg t.i.d.; week 2, 0.18 mg t.i.d.; week 3, 0.7 mg t.i.d.; week 4, 0.18 mg t.i.d. over 3 days and 0.088 mg t.i.d. the rest of the week. Patients in the second group received placebo. Determination of subjective grading of tinnitus perception, the tinnitus handicap inventory (THI) questionnaire and electrocochleography (ECOG) examinations served as the end points. Subjective audiometry was used to produce secondary data. A significant improvement in tinnitus annoyance is found in the group treated with pramipexole versus placebo with respect to inhibition of tinnitus and a decrease of tinnitus loudness greater than 30 dB. However, neither ECOG nor subjective pure-tone threshold audiometry revealed any change in hearing threshold in response to either pramipexole or placebo.

Conclusions: Pramipexole is an effective agent against subjective tinnitus associated with presbycusis at a dose schedule used for the treatment of Parkinson's disease. The drug did not change hearing threshold.

 

Well I'm actually killing myself this month.

Sucks I've been pushed to this point but, it is what it is.

 

Same here. Life is pure hell with damaged health and inability to function like a normal human being.

One can't be tortured like this forever.

 

Nico, Roy, life is unfair, no doubt about that. I won't try to convince you not to do it because I myself might go down the same road soon. But at this point it would be wise to try all the alternatives possible like Ketamine or Psilocybin before checking out, because what do you have to lose anyways?

I get that maybe you're too tired to even try to get a hold of these things since they aren't exactly sold on Amazon or the corner store, but maybe you can ask a good friend to buy them for you?

 

That study was published over ten years ago.

If in fact it is as effective as claimed, then why hasn't this become a universally prescribed drug for tinnitus?